Balanced Counseling of San Antonio

Stress Counseling San Antonio: What to Expect

Fri, 24 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMT

Stress can sneak into your life like an extra browser tab you don’t remember opening—suddenly everything feels slower, noisier, and harder to manage. If you’re considering stress counseling, you may be wondering what actually happens in sessions, how to choose the right therapist, and whether it will feel awkward (spoiler: it can at first, and that’s normal). This guide is for beginners who want a clear, practical overview of the process and what you can do to get the most out of counseling in San Antonio, TX . As spring rolls in, many people take stock of what’s working, what’s draining, and what needs a reset.

The Essentials: What to Expect in Stress Support

Your first appointment is mostly information-gathering —what’s been happening, what you’ve tried, and what you want to change.
Sessions focus on patterns (thoughts, habits, relationships, sleep, workload) that keep stress stuck on “high.”
You’ll practice skills between sessions —small, realistic steps that fit your actual schedule.
Progress is usually gradual , often showing up as better coping, clearer boundaries, and fewer “I can’t deal” moments.
Fit matters —it’s okay to ask questions and switch therapists if it doesn’t feel helpful over time.

How Stress Counseling Typically Works

Stress-focused counseling is a structured conversation with a trained professional to help you understand what’s fueling your stress and build tools to manage it. It’s not just venting (though you may do some of that). It’s more like troubleshooting: you and your therapist look at what’s happening, identify what’s changeable, and create a plan.

Common building blocks include:

Clarifying your stress triggers: work pressure, family conflict, health concerns, trauma history, big transitions, or “too much for too long.”
Mapping your stress cycle: what sets it off, how your body reacts, what you do next (overworking, withdrawing, snapping, scrolling), and what keeps the cycle going.
Learning coping skills: practical tools like grounding, problem-solving, communication skills, boundary-setting, and routines that support sleep and recovery.
Changing unhelpful thought habits: not “positive thinking,” but more accurate thinking—less catastrophic, more workable.
Addressing deeper contributors when relevant: for some people, stress is tied to trauma, grief, or long-standing relationship dynamics. A therapist may suggest approaches such as EMDR when appropriate and desired.

Telehealth may also be an option if commuting or scheduling is part of your stress load.

The Real-Life Payoff: What Changes When Stress Is Managed Better

When stress stays high, it tends to “tax” everything—sleep, focus, patience, relationships, and your ability to make decisions. Support can help you reduce the spillover so you’re not paying a stress fee in every area of life.

Practical ways this can affect your day-to-day:

Time: you may spend less time recovering from overwhelm and more time doing what matters (without burning out).
Work and school performance: better concentration and fewer last-minute panics can make tasks feel more doable.
Relationships: improved boundaries and communication can reduce conflict and resentment.
Health habits: stress often disrupts sleep, appetite, and movement—small changes here can have an outsized impact.
Confidence: many people notice they feel more capable once they have a plan for tough moments.

Common Missteps People Make

Waiting for a “perfect” breaking point — You don’t have to be in crisis to benefit. Early support can be easier than damage control.
Expecting instant relief after one session — The first visits often focus on understanding the problem and building a workable plan.
Treating sessions like a performance review — You don’t need the “right” words. Honest, messy information is usually the most useful.
Skipping the between-session practice — Skills work best when you test them in real life (even imperfectly).
Not asking about logistics — If fees, insurance, cancellations, or scheduling are unclear, ask directly so there are no surprises later.
Assuming a poor fit means counseling can’t help — Sometimes it’s the match, not the method. It’s okay to request a different clinician.

A Practical Game Plan for Your First Few Sessions

Write down your top 3 stressors (work, relationships, health, money, parenting, etc.) and one example of how each shows up.
Track your stress signals for a week : sleep changes, irritability, headaches, avoidance, racing thoughts—no judgment, just data.
Choose one “small win” goal (e.g., fewer blow-ups, better sleep routine, saying no once a week, leaving work on time twice a week).
Ask how progress will be measured so you and your therapist are aiming at the same target.
Confirm logistics in writing when possible : scheduling process, fees, insurance steps, and cancellation policies.
Be honest about what hasn’t worked (apps, meditation, exercise, journaling). That helps tailor a plan that fits you.

Professional Insight: What Most People Miss About Getting Unstuck

In practice, we often see that the biggest shift happens when clients stop trying to “out-tough” stress and start treating it like a signal—information about overload, unmet needs, or unclear boundaries. Once that signal is understood, the plan becomes less about willpower and more about designing a life that’s actually sustainable.

When It’s Time to Reach Out for Professional Support

Consider getting help if any of these are true:

Stress is affecting sleep most nights, or you’re exhausted even after rest.
You’re more reactive than you want to be —snapping, shutting down, or feeling constantly on edge.
You’re using coping strategies that worry you (overuse of alcohol, substances, or compulsive behaviors).
You can’t focus or make decisions, and it’s starting to impact work, school, or parenting.
You’re avoiding life —canceling plans, isolating, or feeling stuck in “survival mode.”
You’ve experienced trauma and stress reactions that feel intense, persistent, or easily triggered.

Your Questions, Answered

How do I know if therapy is helping?

Look for practical shifts: you recover faster after stressful moments, your reactions feel more controllable, you’re sleeping better, or you’re making clearer choices. Many people also notice improved communication and boundaries.

What should I bring to my first session?

A short list of your main stressors, any relevant medical or mental health history you’re comfortable sharing, and questions about scheduling, fees, and how progress is typically tracked.

Is it normal to feel nervous or awkward at the start?

Yes. Meeting someone new and talking about personal topics can feel uncomfortable at first. A good therapist will help set the pace and explain what they’re doing and why.

Can I do sessions by telehealth?

Many practices offer remote sessions. Whether it’s a good fit depends on your needs, privacy at home, and what you’re working on—ask your provider what options are available.

What if I’m worried about fees or insurance confusion?

Bring it up early. Ask for a clear explanation of rates, expected out-of-pocket costs, and any steps needed for insurance. Clear communication up front can prevent frustration later.

Moving Forward

Getting stress support is less about “fixing you” and more about building skills and clarity so life feels manageable again. When you know your triggers, understand your patterns, and have tools you’ll actually use, stress becomes something you can respond to—not something that runs the show. If you’re exploring stress counseling, a simple next step is to ask a few questions, confirm logistics, and schedule a first conversation with the Balanced Counseling team to see if it feels like a good fit.

Healthy Food & Emotional Regulation

Thu, 08 Apr 2021 22:01:00 GMT

Are you an emotional eater? When you’re feeling stressed, do you find yourself ordering in pizza? When something sad happens, do you drown your grief in sugar? If so, you’re not alone. A majority of people deal with the challenges of life by turning to their favorite comfort foods.

The trouble is, these foods are only a temporary fix. They fill a void, and in the case of sugar, give our mood a boost. But then we come crashing down again and may even experience shame and guilt for having binged on food we know is not good for us. This can lead to a vicious cycle of more emotions, more eating, more emotions, more eating. This cycle can ultimately lead to weight gain and even the development of certain chronic diseases like heart disease and type 2 diabetes.

Your Brain on Comfort Foods

We are what we eat is a very true sentiment, especially when it comes to our brain. When life throws us challenges, we need our brain to work optimally so we can figure out the best way to deal with our circumstances or to process emotions. The trouble with reaching for comfort foods is, they are actually harmful to your brain.

Think of your brain like the engine in a car. You wouldn’t put frozen lattes in your gas tank because you know your car needs the right kind of fuel to run well. Your brain also needs the right kind of fuel. Your brain requires high-quality foods that are loaded with vitamins, minerals and antioxidants. These nutrients nourish your brain and protect it from oxidative stress.

Did you know that studies have shown a direct link between a diet high in refined sugars and impaired brain function? And even a worsening of symptoms such as depression?

The bottom line is, while your instinct in the moment may be to reach for those processed comfort foods, do your best to make better food choices. It will be hard at first, but good habits can be formed over time. Your brain will thank you.

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Celebrate National Walk to Work Day

Thu, 08 Apr 2021 22:01:00 GMT

April 2nd is National Walk to Work Day. The national holiday was started to help people get up and get moving. Many chronic diseases, such as heart disease, hypertension and type 2 diabetes, are allowed to take hold because of poor diet and lack of exercise. So it goes without saying that moving more is one STEP in the right direction of improving your health.

But with so many of us working from home due to the pandemic, how can we celebrate this holiday and walk to work when our office is now in our dining room? By following these tips:

Go for a Morning Walk

You may only need to commute from your bedroom to another part of your house these days, but that shouldn’t stop you from taking a nice walk first thing in the morning! Consider slapping on some sneakers and heading out for a 15- to 30-minute walk around the neighborhood.

Take a Lunch Break

Maybe it’s hard for you to walk in the morning because you need to feed the kids and get them ready for school. But why not take an actual lunch break and go for a walk then? Too many of us that are working from home, work while we eat, and this isn’t great. We all need to take a break from time to time. So head out for a quick walk during lunch. And if your kids are home, take them with you!

Head for the Stairs

What do you do if it’s raining out? Well, if you have stairs in your house, you can get your steps in by going up and down them as many times as you can. Just take them slow and go nice and easy.

If you find yourself working from home this Walk to Work Day, there’s no reason you can’t get your body up and moving around. Just follow these tips and get to stepping!

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How to Recover from Infidelity

Thu, 08 Apr 2021 22:01:00 GMT

In my time as a marriage counselor, there is probably one statement I have heard more than any other, and that is, “I just don’t think I will ever get over this.” This statement is often said by my clients who have recently learned their spouse has had an affair. The second most common phrase I hear is, “I just don’t think I can ever trust them again.”

The initial shock of infidelity cuts deep. Knowing your partner has broken your trust in such a profound way can completely turn your world upside down.

Whether or not a couple can recover from infidelity depends on the two individuals and the bond they have already built. It also depends on the exact circumstances of the affair. Was it a drunken one-night stand on a business trip or an affair that lasted for years? Were love and intimacy involved, or was it merely a physical occurrence?

What I can tell you is that for those couples who want to try and stay together, it will take work on both of their parts. But healing can happen.

The Recovery Process

Recovery must begin with an absolute ending to the affair. All ties must be cut before the work can begin. Should the affair continue behind the scenes, in my experience, the relationship is very unlikely to succeed.

The second step to recovery is for the deceiver to be able to move past defensiveness and guilt so they make talk openly and transparently about what happened. This is a time when the “guilty” party will have to be humble, acknowledge their wrong-doings, and answer their partner’s questions.

Next, there must be a shared understanding of what led to the affair in the first place. Were there issues in the marriage that led to the affair? If so, these will need to be tackled.

In order for the deceived spouse or partner to be able to begin healing, they will need to feel genuine compassion from their partner for having caused them pain. There is typically a knee-jerk reaction to not want to accept the cheater’s apologies or compassion. This can be seen as a way to “get back.” But understand that doing so only holds you back from healing.

The person that was deceived will also need to explore all of their feelings surrounding the betrayal. Usually shock, rage, fear, sadness, and distrust are the main emotions a person will need to work through.

At a certain point, you both will need to decide whether you will stay together. If you choose to, you will need to work on rebuilding that trust.

As you can see, the process of recovery is a complex one and will require that you work with a marriage counselor to help you navigate the strong emotions involved. But, through commitment and work, many couples can stay together and even have a stronger bond than they did before.

If you would like to seek counseling for infidelity, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

SOURCES:

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4 Powerful Immunity Boosters

Thu, 08 Apr 2021 22:01:00 GMT

As we continue to grapple with the Covid-19 pandemic, many of us are wondering how we can boost our immune systems. You most likely know you should take more vitamin C, but here are some other ways you can give your immunity a powerful boost:

Tackle That Stress

When we’re stressed, our bodies produce stress hormones like cortisol, which weaken our immune system. This means when we are under chronic stress, our immune system is under constant attack.

It’s important to find healthy ways to tackle stress. Try exercise, meditation, and psychotherapy to help relieve the burden.

Eat Right

When you eat a typical Standard American Diet (SAD), full of refined grains and sugars and unhealthy fats, you change your gut’s microbiome (the beneficial bacteria that). And guess where 80% of your immune system is? In your gut!

Eat a healthy diet of grass-fed meats, dairy, and organic produce to give your body the nutrients it needs to be healthy and to keep your gut microbiome nice and strong.

Exercise

Exercise is important to keep our hearts, muscles, and bones strong. But in addition, exercise helps us burn through those stress hormones I talked about a little while ago. And, research has found that even a little bit of exercise can have improved microbiome diversity, which leads to a stronger immune system.

Get More Sleep

You most likely know that when you don’t get enough sleep, you feel cranky and in a fog the next day. But what you may not know is that too little sleep night after night decreases our immune function. Most adults need between 7 and 9 hours of sleep each night. Do your best to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day, even on weekends. Also, put those electrical devices away at night. The blue light those devices emit interferes with your body’s natural sleep cycle.

These 4 things may seem like common sense, but are you actually doing them? Making some lifestyle changes to ensure you are tackling stress, eating right, exercising, and getting enough sleep will keep your immune system strong so it can keep you healthy.

RESOURCES :

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A Guide to Successful Interventions

Thu, 08 Apr 2021 22:00:00 GMT

If you have a friend or a loved one that is struggling with an addiction, then you know firsthand how helpless it can feel to watch them suffer. That’s why many loved ones decide to take action and have an intervention for their loved one.

Interventions can be very powerful and effective when they are handled correctly. In this blog post, I want to go over some important information you’ll need to conduct a successful intervention.

When Should an Intervention Be Used?

Typically, interventions are used when addicts cannot or will not help themselves from relapsing into dangerous or harmful behaviors. There are other interventions called crisis interventions that are used when an individual is experiencing an immediate harmful crisis, such as a suicide threat or attempt.

Do Interventions Work?

There isn’t a lot of data available regarding the efficacy of interventions, most likely because effectiveness is hard to define. What mental health experts do know is that addicts are more likely to seek treatment if they have undergone an intervention. This, however, does not mean their treatment will be effective. That is completely up to the individual and the work they are willing to put in.

Having said that, strong social support is beneficial in convincing an addict to WANT to get sober. So those friends and families that are likely to set up an intervention will also be likely to lend their support throughout treatment.

How to Find an Interventionist

It is not recommended that family members conduct an intervention by themselves. You will definitely want the assistance of a professional interventionist who can help you plan a safe and effective intervention. This person will facilitate open and constructive communication between everyone and prepare your group for potential outcomes.

To find a qualified interventionist, it’s a good idea to speak with someone at a local reputable rehabilitation center. You may also want to look in your area for a therapist that specializes in addiction.

If you live in the area and would like to speak with me about helping you and your loved ones plan an intervention, please get in touch with me.

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Lean on Me: Why People with a Mental Health Crisis Need a Support Network

Thu, 08 Apr 2021 22:00:00 GMT

Human beings have a need for social connection. It stems from our ancestors needing to stick together to stay alive. Back in the day, those individuals who strayed from the group had a harder time surviving the elements and not starving to death.

While it is far safer to be an individual these days, that doesn’t mean it is healthy for us to be isolated, for isolation undoubtedly threatens a person’s mental well-being.

It is for this very reason that people suffering from depression and other mental health issues need the love and encouragement from a support network

Social Connection: A Vital Part of Depression Recovery

When a person suffers from depression, they live with a constant pit of despair at their side. Every moment hurts and the truth about life remains elusive.

When we feel these dark feelings, there is a natural tendency to retreat and isolate ourselves. But this only makes the dark darker.

Recovery from depression is a complex process but you don’t need to go it alone. By surrounding yourself with friends and loved ones, you can continue to feel genuine connections, and each one of those connections is a light that can pierce through the darkness.

Research suggests there is a definite link between social relationships and many different aspects of a person’s mental health and wellness. It is for this reason that mental health professionals often discuss the importance of having a strong social network.

Get Yourself Social Support

Social support comes in many different forms. Sometimes you might need help with daily tasks if you are struggling with depression. Sometimes you may need an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on, and sometimes you may need some sound advice.

Whatever you may be going through and whatever kind of help you need, here are some ways you can build a support network of people that love and care about you.

1. Create a List

Make a shortlist of friends and family members who have shown their love, kindness, and support in the past.

2. Make a Commitment

Commit to reaching out to someone on your list every week (if not more). You can do this through a phone call, text, email, or in person.

3. Be Honest

The people that love you can only help and support you if you are honest with them. When you reach out, share what is on your mind and heart. Talk openly about any struggles you are dealing with and be sure to be open to any fresh perspective or advice.

4. Get Out – When Possible

With COVID still affecting our lives, it’s not always easy to get out and be social in person but doing so is remarkably helpful and healing for our mental health. Phone calls and emails work in a pinch, but nothing beats spending time with loved ones in person.

It’s also important to mention that sometimes we need a bit more help than our loved ones can give. If, after forming your support network, you feel that you need additional help, it’s vital you reach out to a mental health specialist. He or she can give you tools and strategies that will help you recover from depression.

If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

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The Importance of Therapy for Caregivers

Tue, 02 Feb 2021 04:00:00 GMT

In the U.S., the number of people aged 65 or older is expected to more than double in the coming decades, from 46 million to 98 million. And all of these older people will at some point most likely face one or more health crises. From chronic disease to mobility issues, many of the aging population will need help with everyday tasks, taking medications, and staying as safe and healthy as possible.

While some of these people will get professional help from trained home health aides, a good majority of them will be helped by family members. Currently it is estimated that there are over 34 million unpaid caregivers providing support to their elderly loved ones. Many of these loved ones have their own family to support and work outside of the home. In other words, they already have their hands full and now have the extra “burden” of caring for their elderly parent.

What is Caregiver Burnout?

Caregiver burnout happens when a person has become physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted from the stress and burden of caring for a sick or aging loved one. These people often feel completely alone, unsupported and unappreciated.

Being so busy raising their own family, working and taking care of others, they often have no time to give to their own needs. They don’t take care of themselves and find they often feel depressed, anxious, and have trouble eating and sleeping.

Most caregivers will experience caregiver burnout at some point. If this happens and the person does not find help, they can no longer provide good care to their loved ones.

It’s Important for Caregivers to Seek Help

Beyond showing themselves more kindness, compassion and care, it is important that caregivers seek mental and emotional help. A therapist can help caregivers navigate the overwhelming emotions that are a result of taking on someone else’s problems and emotional, physical pain.

The truth is, trying to do everything yourself is what got you into the state you find yourself in. Get someone in your corner and share your burden. This will help you breathe, feel better, and get your strength back.

If you are a caregiver experiencing burnout and would like to speak with someone, please reach out to me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help you.

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How To Get More Protein In Your Diet Without Eating More Meat

Tue, 02 Feb 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Finally, protein is getting its much-deserved attention. For decades, most discussions revolving around macronutrients focused on fat and carbs, namely how much should we be eating of both.

But there SHOULD be focus on protein. Protein builds our entire body, from muscles and bones to hormones and other biochemicals. If we don’t get enough protein in our diet every day, our health and well-being are compromised.

Okay, but how can you ensure you are getting enough protein and what if you don’t eat meat at all or are trying to limit meat consumption? Though animal-based protein delivers all of the essential amino acids we need, you can get sufficient protein from plant-based sources.

Here’s how you can get more protein into your diet without eating more meat:

Reach for a Good Protein Powder

Protein powders can be the perfect way to get some more protein in. There are vegan powders on the market as well as powders made from animal sources (whey). They key is to find a powder that offers around 25 grams of protein per serving, is clean and does not come with added sugars or unnecessary fillers. Read those labels to be certain of what you are getting.

Pair Lower Protein Sources with Higher Ones

If you try and eat more foods that offer the highest protein grams per bite, you’re going to be eating a lot of the same foods such as a protein powder, eggs, lentils etc. A better approach, and one that will add variety to your meals, is to pair lower protein sources with higher ones.

So this might look like adding a tablespoon of hemp seeds, which contain 4 grams of protein per tablespoon, to your morning smoothie and adding a tablespoon of pumpkin seeds (10 grams) to your salad and have some almond butter on an apple as a snack (another 4 grams per tablespoon). Right there you’ve added 18 grams of protein to your daily intake.

Eat More Than One Protein Source at Each Meal

Like a good pasta dish with Bolognese sauce? Whether that sauce was made from beef or lentils, there is one single source of protein right there. But what if you now had chickpea pasta instead of regular pasta? You’ve just added a second source of protein to your meal. And what if you add some tofu to your side salad, you’ve now added another source and really upped your daily intake.

If you use these 3 simple but effective tricks, you can ensure you get enough protein into your diet without having to eat any more meat!

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4 Reasons to Start Therapy in 2021

Tue, 02 Feb 2021 04:00:00 GMT

If you’re like most people, you brought in the new year with a list of resolutions. And if you’re like most people, all of those resolutions have one goal: to better your life in some way. Whether that is through eating right, working out, learning a new language or decluttering your home office, resolutions are made to help us live our best lives.

In all of these instances (health, weight loss, decluttering) therapy can help.

You see, most people believe mental health therapy is something you seek when there is a major crisis; when we need help navigating depression or anxiety; when we’re going through a big transition, or when our marriage is on the verge of collapse.

And while therapy can absolutely help with all of these scenarios, it offers numerous benefits you may not have thought of:

Therapy Can Boost Physical Health

Different therapy protocols have been shown to improve different physical symptoms associated with stress. This includes a reduction in migraines, digestive upset, better appetite and improved sleep.

Builds Self-Awareness

Many of us think we are running our lives when really, our lives are being run by subconscious programming from early childhood. Therapy helps clients understand where feelings, beliefs and behaviors really come from. Through treatment, individuals can become more self-aware and empowered to take responsibility for the lives they are creating. In this way, THEY create their lives instead of their lives being something that is happening TO them.

Explore Hidden Desires

Of course, self-awareness also means becoming aware of your passions and desires. Many people spend a majority of their life doing what others want instead of what THEY want. And many people simply don’t KNOW what they want in life.
Therapy can help you become an archeologist of sorts, digging into your heart, mind and soul to uncover what it is you value, love, desire, need and want.

Therapy Helps You Reach Goals

It’s the new year and we all have new goals that we are hoping to reach. Well, therapy can help you reach those goals!
A trained therapist can help you set achievable goals as well as help you outline the micro steps you’ll need to take to get there. They can also then act as coach and cheerleader, supporting your efforts to reach your goals.
Yes, therapy is something that you can turn to for depression, addiction, and help with your crumbling relationships. But therapy can help with so much more. If you’d like to explore treatment options in the new year, please get in touch with me.

SOURCES:

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How to Kick the Cravings and Retrain Your Tastebuds for a Healthier Diet

Mon, 04 Jan 2021 05:00:00 GMT

Do you tend to opt for a donut and vanilla latte in the morning? Does your lunch typically include a soda? Do you always have dessert with dinner and maybe even a sweet treat before bed?

Do you also find that the more sugary foods you eat, the more you crave them and the hungrier you feel? It is indeed a vicious cycle!

The good news is, there are actual ways you can STOP the cravings for sweets and junk food and retrain your tastebuds to want healthy foods. Use the following tips to help you get healthy once and for all!

Avoid Refined Carbohydrates

When we eat foods high in simple carbohydrates like pasta and bread, it causes a blood sugar spike, which leads to more sugar cravings. In order to get a handle on your tastebuds and overall health, you really need to cut out refined carbs and replace them with complex carbohydrates such as sweet potatoes and brown rice.

Eat More Protein

Research has uncovered an interesting fact: your body will force you to eat in order to get enough protein! That’s why when you eat a lot of carbs you still feel really hungry and keep eating. It’s because your body NEEDS way more protein to be healthy than you are giving it. Eat more quality protein from meats, eggs, and dairy. You’ll find that a lot of your cravings will quickly subside and you’ll feel fuller longer.

Eat More Healthy Fats

Healthy fats found in foods like fatty fish, eggs, nuts, and avocados are important for your overall health. And, like protein, they will help to satiate you. Fat is also important for brain health. Many mood disorders, like depression, stem from a lack of healthy fats in the diet. When we feel depressed or anxious, we tend to reach for unhealthy comfort foods laden with trans fats and refined sugars. So be sure to eat plenty of healthy fats.

Stay Hydrated

We think of hydration as getting enough water in the diet. But hydration is about ensuring we have a proper balance of electrolytes. Just as our body will crave all kinds of foods in an effort to get enough protein, it will also try to get you to eat to get enough salt and other important electrolytes like calcium and potassium. Try using sea salt instead of refined table salt, and/or opt to take an electrolyte supplement every day.

When you know WHY your body is craving certain foods – because it is trying to get you to eat what it REALLY needs – then you can take the appropriate steps to stop the cravings and get healthy once and for all!

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Does Online Couple’s Therapy Work?

Mon, 04 Jan 2021 05:00:00 GMT

The current global pandemic has caused most people in this country to have to shelter in place for many months. This has caused a lot of stress and strain for families and couples. And, often acute or sudden stress can bring underlying relationship issues to the surface.

But, since many states are still in lockdown mode and residents are still practicing social distancing, how can couples facing these issues get the help they need? Through online therapy.

What is Online Couple’s Therapy?

Online couples therapy offers the same benefits as face-to-face therapy, with the added convenience and privacy of getting the help and support you need at home. Usually, sessions are held via video chat and with the couple in the same location. However, online couples therapy can be particularly beneficial for those couples who are dealing with the stress of living apart because of long-term hospitalization or military deployment.

Besides the lockdown or being apart from your spouse, what are some other reasons couples may choose to try online therapy as opposed to face-to-face therapy?

Online therapy follows a similar model to traditional therapy and in most cases, therapists do nearly everything online that they do in person. The only real difference is that it may take a little bit longer to get comfortable with each other, as human beings tend to connect more when they are in each other’s physical space. But once the connection has been made and everyone feels comfortable, there is no real difference in how sessions are conducted.

When Online Couples Therapy is Not a Good Idea

While online couples therapy can be very effective and beneficial to a majority of couples, there are those situations when it would not be suitable. For instance, in the case of domestic violence. Couples therapy, whether online or over the internet, treats both partners as equal in the relationships and aims to save the marriage. But when there are abuse and violence, the partners are not equal (ie, partners are not contributing equally to the problems) and the goal should not be to keep a victim in a dangerous relationship.

Some other instances where online therapy may not be suitable:

Again, for a majority of couples, online therapy can be very beneficial and even preferred. If you’d like to explore treatment options and do so online, please reach out to me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

SOURCES:

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What is Trauma Therapy?

Tue, 08 Dec 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Not many of us will get through life without facing our own share of challenges. But some people experience not just stress and strife, but actual trauma. Trauma may come in the form of a physically or emotionally abusive relationship, a physical accident such as a car accident, rape, the sudden loss of a loved one, or war.

When a person experiences trauma, their entire world changes almost instantly. Many trauma survivors have a hard time feeling safe and secure. They begin to feel anxiety and depression, have trouble sleeping, and may experience other behavioral changes that are frightening to them and their loved ones.

How Does Trauma Therapy Work?

When you have experienced trauma and begin to see some of the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), it’s time to explore treatment so you can begin healing. The idea of therapy can feel scary and overwhelming to people with PTSD, mainly because they need to have a sense of total control to feel safe.

But trauma therapy is really something that can empower an individual with PTSD. With the help of a caring and qualified mental health professional, the person can begin to process past events, stripping that traumatic event of its power.

Trauma therapy is a form of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and has the potential to actually change the way your brain works through what is called neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity simply means our brains and neural pathways (how we think and feel) are malleable. Through specific mental health tools and strategies, we can retrain our brains to let go of the fear and begin to heal.

Some of the goals of trauma therapy are:

If you or a loved one are living with PTSD, it’s important that you recognize the symptoms and seek help. Life does not have to continue to be scary or overwhelming. There are strategies that can help you process your pain so that you may continue to live your life full of joy and peace.

If you would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I would be very happy to help you leave the past in the past and move on to brighter tomorrows.

SOURCES:

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Communication Tips for Couples in Recovery

Tue, 08 Dec 2020 05:00:00 GMT

If you have found yourself in a troubled relationship, there is a very good chance you grew up with parents who argued and fought often. Your household was most likely filled with the sounds of angry voices, raised in an attempt to be heard or to simply drown out the other person.

This means you had no role models for how to treat your partner or what effective communication looks or sounds like. And so, you find yourself flailing, hoping things will get better with your partner but not really knowing what you can do.

The key to a healthy relationship, hands down, is good and respectful communication. If you are currently working toward mending your relationship, here are some communication tips that will help the two of you grow closer:

Give Each Other Your FULL Attention

We live in the age of technology, which means most of us has our head buried in our phone or tablet just about 24/7. This hinders good communication.

When you are speaking with one another, make sure to give your full attention to what the other person is saying. Turn the TV off, put the phone down, and make eye contact.

Take Responsibility

There are those relationships that suffer because one person has been unfaithful. But oftentimes, a broken relationship is the result of two broken people. Take responsibility for your part in the trouble. Admit to your mistakes and commit to trying harder.

Don’t Interrupt

It’s not easy to hear someone say negative things about your behavior but resist the urge to cut off your partner when they are saying something you don’t like or agree with.

Don’t Raise Your Voice

Yelling and shouting is not a form of effective communication. Do your best to refrain from raising your voice at all. It may sound too simplistic, but it really does help to stop and take a slow, deep breath when you feel your anger rising.

Listen

When your partner is talking, you should be hearing every word they say, not thinking about how you are going to respond. Many people are bad listeners. Listening is a skill you will have to develop over time, but why not start now?

If you follow these communication tips you’ll have a much better chance of reconnecting with your partner and making things work. And if you’d like to find a therapist that can guide you in your recovery, please reach out to me. I would be happy to talk with you about how I may be able to help.

SOURCES:

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How to Set Healthy Boundaries

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 05:02:00 GMT

Relationships can only be healthy when both people have the space to be themselves and maintain their personal integrity. Sadly, many people find themselves in relationships, romantic and otherwise, with people who do not respect boundaries and feel entitled to have their needs met regardless of the other person’s. These people most likely grew up in households that were unsafe and unstable, and where there was a constant invasion of personal boundaries.

If you can relate, chances are you have a hard time creating healthy boundaries to create the life experience you wish to have. Here are some ways you can begin to do so:

Identify Your Limits

You can’t set boundaries unless you discover where it is you personally stand. You’ll need to take a bit of time to recognize what you can and cannot tolerate. What makes you happy and what makes you feel uncomfortable and stressed? Only until you have made these discoveries can you move on to the next steps.

Don’t Be Shy

People who have similar communication styles are easy to engage with. These people will quickly understand what your new barriers are. But people who have a different cultural background or personality may not easily understand your boundaries. With these people, it’s important to be very clear and direct.

Pay Attention to Your Feelings

People who have a hard time setting boundaries don’t often allow themselves to acknowledge their own feelings because they’re usually too busy worrying about everyone else’s.

You’ll need to start recognizing how people make you feel in order to know whether your new boundaries are being crossed or not. When you’re with someone, make mental notes, or even jot down in a journal how that interaction made you feel.

If, after spending time with someone, you feel anger or resentment, this is a sign that the person may be overstepping your boundaries. Reiterate to this person what your boundaries are. If they continue to disrespect you and them, you will want to cut yourself away from further interactions.

Make Self-Care a Priority

Put yourself and your needs first. This may feel strange and even somehow wrong if you’ve spent your entire life taking care of others. Give yourself permission to feel your feelings and get what you need to feel happy and well.

Speak with Someone

If you’ve spent an entire life with a sense of low self-worth, you may find setting boundaries quite difficult. In this case, it’s important to speak with a therapist that can help you discover where these feelings are coming from and how to change your thought patterns and behavior.

If you’d like to explore therapy, please get in touch with me. I would be happy to help you on your journey toward self-care.

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How Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Can Help Us Better Understand the Black Lives Matter Movement

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 05:01:00 GMT

Most human beings have implicit biases. And that’s okay, as long as we are aware of them and aware of how our attitudes affect others.

In the United States, black people have lived through a long history of violence and social injustice. With the recent deaths of George Floyd and Rayshard Brooks, the Black Lives Matter movement has organized many protests around the nation, inspiring people from all walks of life to take a long hard look at themselves and their own beliefs.

To this end, cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT for short, can help us all better understand the Black Lives Matter movement and how we can help heal the divide among the races. The entire goal of CBT is to change a person’s thought patterns in order to change their responses to difficult situations.

CBT combines psychotherapy and behavioral therapy. Psychotherapy emphasizes the importance of the personal meaning each individual places on events and circumstances. Behavioral therapy looks at the relationship between our thoughts, our problems, and our subsequent behaviors. Most therapists who practice CBT personalize the therapy to the specific needs and personality of each client.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been used for decades to treat adults, families, children, and adolescents. It has shown great success in treating depression, general anxiety disorder, PTSD, stress, anger issues, OCD, and marital difficulties. It has been so successful in treating myriad mental conditions precisely because it helps individuals reframe what they think about a particular belief or event. It is for this reason that I and other therapists have begun to use CBT to help people understand the BLM movement and how they can help it grow and make powerful changes.

Finding the Right CBT Therapist

If you are interested in exploring CBT treatment, it’s important to look for a licensed therapist with specialized training and experience. Beyond these credentials, it’s also important to look for an individual you feel comfortable with.

If you are interested in exploring CBT, please reach out to me. I would be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

SOURCES:

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Should Men Get Help for Toxic Masculinity?

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 05:01:00 GMT

In the past few years, we’ve all heard the phrase “toxic masculinity” mentioned very often. But what is it really? Is it as big of a problem as everyone seems to think it is? And, if so, who does toxic masculinity hurt the most?

What is Toxic Masculinity?

The phrase and concept of toxic masculinity emerged from the men’s movement of the 80s and 90s. From here the phrase was adopted into classroom studies and university discourse.

But what does toxic masculinity look like in action? It could be the perpetuation of the idea that men shouldn’t feel their feelings or express their emotions. Or, worse, making anger and violence the only acceptable form of masculine emotion.

Toxic masculinity also refers to the idea that certain men have a habit of objectifying women and feeling superior to women. And perhaps the biggest failure of toxic masculinity is the idea that somehow all of this is perfectly normal and acceptable behavior and that “boys will be boys.” Certain behaviors and characteristics are valued within the concept of toxic masculinity while others are marginalized.

Who Does Toxic Masculinity Hurt the Most?

The knee-jerk response would be to say that toxic masculinity hurts women the most. After all, it is women who are “treated as second class citizens and objectified” because of toxic masculinity and the “patriarchal society.”

But I would suggest that men suffer even more from the very concept of toxic masculinity. When you think about it, both the role of men and women have changed over the last 50+ years. While women have become more empowered and have been invited to embrace their independence and strength, young men have gotten mixed messages. What is and is no longer acceptable seems to be ever-changing. At times it seems the war isn’t just against “toxic” masculinity, but masculinity in general. What does it even mean to be masculine these days and how are men supposed to navigate these tricky waters?

Therapy Can Help Men Develop a Healthy Sense of Self

Men are human beings, and many are hurting right now, confused as to what their role and identity is in this modern world. This, in turn, impacts the relationships men have with the women in their life and the family they create. In other words, there can be a devastating ripple effect.

Therapy offers men an accepting environment to explore their feelings and uncertainties and to develop their inner character. Working with a therapist can give men the opportunity to communicate what their mind and heart are feeling and make sense of the conflicting messages they often get from society.

If you or someone you love would benefit from therapy, please get in touch with me. I would be more than happy to support your journey to discover who you really and how you want to express yourself.

SOURCES:

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/humans/2020/02/does-toxic-masculinity-really-exist/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships/2018/10/4-ways-toxic-masculinity-traumatizes-men-not-just-the-women-who-love-them/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/veganism/2019/08/veganism-and-masculinity/

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Fighting Loneliness During Quarantine

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 05:01:00 GMT

Not many of us have ever experienced the kind of isolation that this COVID-19 pandemic has brought about. While quarantine for some has been a welcomed break from the hustle and bustle of life and a chance to spend more quality time with the family, for others it has been an incredibly lonely experience away from coworkers, friends, and those they love and need most.

In addition, and to make matters worse, loneliness can make managing stress more difficult. And let’s be honest, we are all surrounded by stress these days from worrying about when the world will open up again, when we can start working and earning a living and when life will get back to normal.

Fighting Loneliness in Healthy Ways

Sadly, during times like these, many people turn to alcohol and other substances as a way to cope with stress and loneliness. But there are healthier ways you can fight it.

Plan to Stay Connected

During this time it’s important to create a plan to safely stay in regular contact with family and friends. If you are an older person, be sure to confirm who you can reach out to if you need help getting food, medications, and other supplies.

Leverage Technology

While many of us still cannot be in the same space as our loved ones, we are very lucky we live in a time when phones and digital technology can help us all stay connected. Be sure to schedule regular phone calls and online video chats using apps like Skype or FaceTime.

Get in Touch with Old Friends

Most of us, at some point in our life, lose touch with friends and acquaintances we once shared our lives with. Now is the perfect time to reconnect. And social media makes it very easy to find someone you may have lost contact with years ago.

Seek Help

During this pandemic, many counselors and therapists are helping clients via telehealth services. This means instead of going into a therapist’s office, you can speak to them on the phone or over a video conference. A therapist can help you navigate this forced isolation and offer coping strategies to get you through.

If you or someone you love is having a difficult time dealing with loneliness right now, please reach out to me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

SOURCES:

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Tips for Coping with Social Isolation

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 05:01:00 GMT

Humans are social creatures and we don’t do well in isolation. That’s exactly why state penitentiaries punish prisoners by putting them into solitary confinement. It causes them great mental anguish.

Many of us have felt like prisoners in solitary confinement over the last couple of months because of the COVID-19 pandemic and subsequent lockdown. And many of us have been feeling our own mental anguish from this extended isolation.

Who knows how long this may go on? While none of us have control over what our governments do, we do have control over ourselves and our perceptions of the world. With this in mind, here are some tips for coping with social isolation, for however long it goes on.

Isolate Yourself from the Media

If you’re paying attention, it almost seems as if the media is trying to confuse us and cause panic more than report on actual news. Watching too much news doesn’t help anyone’s anxiety levels, so stay informed as best you can but don’t binge-watch.

Get Creative

Being isolated can get very boring very quickly so it’s important that you try and get creative with your time. This could mean painting the living room and rearranging the furniture or getting your husband and kids to learn a new language with you. It could mean experimenting with an old recipe or making up a game with your kids. Just have fun and think outside the box!

Reconnect

Now is a great time to reconnect with friends and loved ones you haven’t spoken to in a while. And technology like Skype and Facetime makes it incredibly easy to chat with someone no matter where in the world they are.

Stay Active

A lot of the anxiety we may feel comes from the fact we aren’t moving our bodies as much as we usually do. It’s important to stay physically active during this time. So get outside and get some sun. Go for a walk or ride your bike. Not only is exercise good for us physically, but physical activity releases endorphins that make us feel good mentally and emotionally as well.

Meditate

The world is a chaotic place right now and it seems we are being hit with noise and negativity from all sides. It’s important to make time each day for some quiet meditation.

If you’ve never meditated before, that’s okay. Just try it.

One of the easiest ways to meditate is through a listening meditation. Find a space in your house where you can be alone and get into a comfortable position. Close your eyes and breathe deeply in and out… and simply listen to the ambient sounds.

What do you hear? The buzzing of a light? A fly? Your dog’s collar rattling down the hall as he scratches. Expand your hearing to see what else can you hear outside your house. Birds? Lawnmowers? Traffic?

Simply breathe and listen intently for 5-10 minutes. When you listen, you can’t think at the same time, and so you will notice finally your thoughts go quiet. This is paradise!

If you find that the social isolation is really beginning to trouble you and you’d like to speak with someone, please get in touch. I would be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

SOURCES:

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5 Foods to Keep Your Immune System Strong

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 05:01:00 GMT

As the events of COVID-19 continue to unfold, many of us are focusing on how we can keep ourselves and our families as healthy as possible. While social distancing and increased hand washing can be very effective at stopping the spreading of the Corona virus, it is equally important to keep our immune systems strong.

With this in mind, here are some of the absolute best foods you can eat to help support your immune system:

1. Blueberries

Blueberries are loaded with powerful antioxidants. In fact, they contain a type of flavonoid called anthocyanin, which has antioxidant properties that can boost your immune system. A 2016 study found that flavonoids play an essential role in the respiratory tract’s immune defense system. The researchers found that people who ate foods rich in flavonoids were less likely to get sick with respiratory tract infections and the common cold.

2. Turmeric

Turmeric is the aromatic spice that makes curry yellow. It is also often used in alternative medicine thanks to its active compound curcumin. Curcumin has been shown to improve a person’s immune response because of its antioxidant and anti-inflammatory effects.

3. Spinach

Popeye knew that spinach would help him be stronger. But I wonder if he knew how good it was for his immune system. Spinach contains vitamin C & E, as well as beneficial flavonoids and carotenoids. Not only are vitamin C & E great for the immune system, but research shows flavonoids may help prevent common colds in otherwise healthy people. So, it stands to reason it may help protect against other viruses as well.

4. Citrus Fruits

Most of us, when we feel an illness coming on, reach for more vitamin C-rich foods. But what is it about vitamin C specifically that makes it so good for our immune systems?

Vitamin C is believed to increase the production of white blood cells. These are the cells responsible for attacking foreign invaders like bacteria and viruses.

Some popular citrus fruits high in vitamin C include:

Unlike other animals whose bodies do produce vitamin C, humans must get their vitamin C from the foods they eat or through supplementation. So be sure to add more citrus fruits to your diet.

5. Red Bell Peppers

We can’t talk about vitamin C without mentioning that ounce for ounce, red bell peppers contain even more vitamin C than most citrus fruits. So if you prefer veggies to fruits, then be sure to eat more red bell peppers.

While this is not an exhaustive list of immune-boosting foods, it will get you started eating right so you can stay healthy during this pandemic. It’s also important to stay hydrated and eliminate sugars and trans fats from your diet as well.

SOURCES:

https://www.healthline.com/health/food-nutrition/foods-that-boost-the-immune-system

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322412

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4 Subtle Exercises to Calm Anxiety in Public

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 05:00:00 GMT

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 40 million adults over the age of 18 suffer from an anxiety disorder. If you are one of them, you know how difficult your life can feel most days.

When anxiety strikes, the world around us can become a sort of funhouse, only not that much fun. It’s important to be able to self-soothe in these instances. But how can you calm an anxiety attack subtly when you’re out in public?

Breath Work

As soon as you feel the anxiety coming on, focus intently on your breathing and nothing else. Begin to take slow… deep breaths. Inhale for a slow count of three… hold for a count of three… and exhale for a count of three. Slow deep breaths send a signal to our body that we are not under attack and everything is okay.

Talk to Yourself

In your mind, re mind yourself that you are having an experience but that you are NOT that experience. While you feel that something is wrong, remind yourself that you are actually safe and all is well.

Visualize

Think of something that calms you. This may be your childhood bedroom or your grandparent’s home. It could be your favorite beach or your own bathtub. Simply put yourself IN that space. Use your full imagination to feel yourself there and allow the calm to settle over you.

Practice Listening Meditation

If you’ve never tried listening meditation, I highly recommend it for everyone. But it can be especially beneficial when you are feeling anxious, and here’s why. Listening requires you to stop thinking. Try it now. Stop reading and instead listen to all of the ambient sounds there in the room with you, outside the door and window.

What do you hear?

Let your sense of hearing grow and grow, picking up more subtle sounds. The buzz of the lights overhead… the noise of the ice maker… a bee at the window… your dog’s collar down the hall…

It’s actually a very fun exercise to do. And in order to REALLY GIVE SOUND YOUR FULL ATTENTION, you can’t think while listening. It’s a bit like trying to juggle while standing on your hands, it simply cannot be done.

Much of our anxiety comes from our anxious thoughts. It’s our reptilian brain trying to keep us alive by alerting us to all of the dangers around us. But when we meditate, this mind chatter goes away.

When an anxiety attack comes on, life can feel unbearable. The next time this happens to you in public, try one or more of these techniques.

And if you’d like to speak with someone about your anxiety, please get in touch. I’d be happy to explore treatment options.

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Do You Have C-PTSD?

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 05:00:00 GMT

You have most likely heard the term Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – also known as PTSD. It is used to describe the mental and emotional anguish suffered by those who have experienced sudden trauma. PTSD is often experienced by soldiers as well as those who have been victims of rape and other crimes, and even victims of house fires and car accidents.

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) describes a condition that very much presents like PTSD, the difference being the sufferer experienced prolonged periods of abuse or neglect. This could happen as a result of childhood neglect or the abuse suffered at the hands of a narcissistic partner.

Diagnosing C-PTSD

Diagnosing C-PTSD is tricky because the symptoms are usually not very unique. That is to say, someone who is suffering from C-PTSD may be experiencing anxiety and lethargy, but these symptoms match other mental health issues.

But it is very important to accurately diagnose C-PTSD because of the necessary treatment measures. The main difference between C-PTSD and other mental health issues – say, bipolar disorder – is that C-PTSD is a result of things that were done TO an individual, and not an intrinsic problem. In other words, someone suffers from C-PTSD because of abuse and neglect at the hands of another and not because of genetically determined brain chemistry.

To help correctly identify C-PTSD, a therapist must uncover an accurate history to understand if:

Symptoms of C-PTSD

As I just mentioned, the outward symptoms of C-PTSD may match other mental health disorders. Those symptoms include:

Treatment for C-PTSD

There are a few different treatment options for people suffering from C-PTSD:

Psychotherapy

Therapy can take place on a one-to-one basis or in a group setting. The focus will be on addressing feelings, improving connections with others, and dealing with anxiety and flashbacks. Many therapists have had success using cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helping people cope with the symptoms of C-PTSD.

EMDR

EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. This is a process that uses eye movement to help a person desensitize their reactions to a specific traumatic event. The result is the person can eventually recall the memory but have no emotional reaction to it.

Medication

Some individuals may need to be on medications for a while to reduce their anxiety. A therapist can work with you to determine if this is the best course of action.

If you believe you are suffering from C-PTSD and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

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Keys to Successful Therapy

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 05:00:00 GMT

Cognitive therapy has been shown over the years to be incredibly effective at helping people recognize and change their behaviors. But, as much potential as therapy has for every individual, some people seem to have success with therapy while others don’t.

Some of this stems from what the individuals’ expectations were going into therapy, some from how much effort they gave, and some from whether or not there was a good personality fit between patient and therapist.

If you’re thinking of exploring therapy and want to ensure your journey is successful, here are some things to keep in mind:

An Evidenced-Based Approach

The American Psychological Association defines an evidence-based practitioner as someone who integrates their (1) clinical expertise with (2) available/relevant psychological science and (3a) the client’s values and (3b) cultural context to guide the intervention. This means your therapist should be using proven techniques in a way that jive with your values, preferences, and needs. It’s not about them and what they bring to the table, it’s about what they have to offer and how they can offer it so you might be positively impacted.

A Solid Partnership

It’s important to shop around to find the right therapist for you. Ideally, you want someone who you feel comfortable opening up to and someone you trust to listen and offer guidance. You also want to know your therapist is competent and has your best interests at heart. And finally, you’ll want to have open communication so you can always be sure you are on the same page as far as your “story” and how well the interventions are working.

An Appreciation for the Process of Change

We live in an instant gratification society. We want what we want and we want it NOW. In many instances, we can get what we want quickly. But this isn’t true for real change.

For therapy to be successful, you MUST be realistic about the process. It is not linear, and it is not quick. This is particularly true if you are dealing with complex, long-term problems. This doesn’t mean you can expect to be in therapy for the rest of your life or even many, many years. It simply means you must appreciate the reality of what you can expect and how quickly.

If you are interested in exploring treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

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Can Eating Fruits & Vegetables Boost Your Mood?

Mon, 13 Jan 2020 18:01:00 GMT

You know you’re supposed to eat more fruits and vegetables as part of a healthy diet, but did you know that the nutrients in fruits and veggies are essential for balancing your mood? It’s true and science is now proving it.

Researchers and economists from the University of Warwick in the UK, in conjunction with Dartmouth College in the US, studied the eating habits of 80,000 adults living in Britain. What they found was that the more fruits and veggies participants ate, the happier they reported feeling.

If you’re looking for a way to naturally boost your mood, start eating more fruits and veggies. Here are some to consider adding to your grocery list.

Bananas

Did you know that all of that potassium in a banana helps improve brain function? But beyond better cognition, the tryptophan in bananas eventually gets converted into serotonin, the “feel good” hormone.

Broccoli

Besides being responsible for cell growth and the production of healthy red blood cells, folic acid is essential for proper mood regulation. Folic acid is actually responsible for boosting serotonin levels and it just so happens that broccoli is a rich source of folic acid.

Spinach

And speaking of getting enough folic acid, spinach, as with most leafy veggies, boasts an impressive amount of the stuff. On top of that, spinach also contains a significant amount of magnesium. Magnesium is known to relax our muscles and calm anxiety. When you are deficient in magnesium, you may feel tired and irritable and find it hard to concentrate.

Olives

Olives: people tend to love them or hate them. If you’re someone who loves them, good news – olives contain “good fats” that are essential for lowering anger and anxiety levels. Don’t like olives? No worry, just start incorporating more olive oil into your diet. To receive all of the benefits, eat olive oil cold, as in a salad dressing.

Sweet Potatoes

Sweet potatoes are chock full of complex carbohydrates. Not only are these types of carbs better for glucose levels , they also increase our serotonin levels, making us feel calm and happy.

The even better news is, when you begin eating more fruits and vegetables to boost your mood, you’ll also increase your antioxidant intake. As you know, antioxidants are what fight the free radicals in our body that cause us to age and get sick. So, eating more produce is a significant win/win.

While nutrition can greatly impact your mood, if you think you may be suffering from depression, it’s best to seek guidance from a therapist who can help you manage your symptoms and work through any issues you may be having.

If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

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Why Did I Feel Fine Yesterday? The Causes of Depression

Mon, 13 Jan 2020 17:01:00 GMT

With 322 million people suffering with depression worldwide, it’s not surprising to learn that in America, depression is among the most common mental disorders. The cause of depression is often simplified as a chemical imbalance in the brain, but the reality is that the disease is far more complicated. Scientific research has yet to completely understand the biology of depression. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, depression is caused by a combination of genetic, biological, environmental and psychological factors.

What Causes Depression?

The disease of depression is the complicated combination previously described; this disease gives you the predisposition to fall into a depression after having experienced a negative external event. For example, getting fired from a job might send one person into a deep depression, while another simply bounces back after experiencing the initial sadness and disappointment.

Many experts in the cognitive behavioral field believe that depression is caused by, and worsens, with distorted negative thinking. The emotions you experience during an episode of depression are created by negative thoughts and perceptions. Your feelings will result from the meaning you attach to those thoughts. If you eliminate distorted, negative thoughts, you will find it easier to cope with the negative event that triggered your depression.

Why Did I Feel Fine Yesterday?

If you felt fine yesterday, but today feel depressed and hopeless, distorted thinking may be to blame. As an example, let’s say you woke up late and had to rush to work. This put you in a bad mood, and you started thinking distorted negative thoughts. “I’m always late. I’m a loser. My boss is going to be angry at me all day. He probably hates me anyway. I’m going to get fired.” As the day goes on, every event will be processed through this negative filter, causing you to feel worse.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a form of psychotherapy that helps you challenge negative patterns of thought. By challenging these thoughts, you can improve your mood. For example, “I’m always late.” This is an overgeneralization. More than likely, you have not been late that often. If this is something you want to change, you can alter your schedule and habits to become more punctual.

Depression is a complicated illness, and as such is best managed by comprehensive treatment. If you’re suffering from depression, a licensed therapist can help you understand your mood disorder and develop strategies to cope with and improve your symptoms. Together, we can develop a plan for you to create the life you want to live. Give my office a call today, and let’s schedule a time to talk.

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5 Warning Signs It’s Time to Try Couples Counseling

Mon, 13 Jan 2020 17:00:00 GMT

When you first fell in love, you could never imagine that someday the sound of your partner chewing could make you want to scream. It’s inevitable that once we are out of our honeymoon phase and reality sets in, we realize that all relationships take work and compromise. But while some couples may hit bumps in the road every so often, other couples find themselves in bigger trouble, with neither party knowing exactly how to fix things.

If you are in a relationship that is no longer feeling healthy, here are 5 warning signs that it may be time to try couples counseling:

1. There is No Longer Healthy Communication

Once you have a communication breakdown, you are unable to rationally share thoughts, feelings, and concerns with each other. Beyond this, unhealthy communication tends to leave one or both partners feeling depressed, angry and hopeless.

2. Trust Has Been Broken

When there has been infidelity, it is very difficult for the couple to rebuild trust and repair the damage. While there is no magic pill to recover from an affair, a therapist can offer tools and strategies to rebuild trust.

3. You’re More Like Roommates

If you and your partner act more like roommates than romantic partners, this indicates a lack of intimacy and a potential need for professional help.

4. One or Both of You Has Begun Acting Out

You try to mask your real feelings for as long as possible, but then you start to act out the hurt and resentment you may be feeling. For instance, if your partner has been unfaithful and you have agreed to stay in the relationship and work things out. But over time you find yourself lashing out, acting rude and trying to make them believe you are having an affair so they will feel the same kind of hurt. This acting out is unhealthy for both people and is a BIG indicator you need to seek some help.

5. When the Only “Solution” Seems to be Separation/Divorce

A break from negative energy can be very helpful to the relationship. But when a temporary break leads to more and more time away from home and someone renting their own apartment, this indicates a need for counseling. Spending time away from home usually doesn’t lead to any real resolution, just more distance.

If you and your partner are interested in exploring treatment options, please be in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

The post 5 Warning Signs It’s Time to Try Couples Counseling appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

Recovering from Addiction

Mon, 11 Nov 2019 16:33:48 GMT

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Write about something you know. If you don’t know much about a specific topic, invite an expert to write about it. Having a variety of authors in your blog is a great way to keep visitors engaged. You know your audience better than anyone else, so keep them in mind as you write your blog posts. Write about things they care about. If you have a company Facebook page that gets lots of comments, you can look here to find topics to write about.

Parenting Young Children

Mon, 11 Nov 2019 16:20:19 GMT

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The body content of your post goes here. To edit this text, click on it and delete this default text and start typing your own or paste your own from a different source.

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First, Love Yourself

Thu, 07 Nov 2019 13:57:40 GMT

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Independent Together

Thu, 07 Nov 2019 13:52:47 GMT

The new season is a great reason to make and keep resolutions. Whether it’s eating right or cleaning out the garage, here are some tips for making and keeping resolutions.

Make a list

Lists are great ways to stay on track. Write down some big things you want to accomplish and some smaller things, too.

Check the list regularly

Don’t forget to check in and see how you’re doing. Just because you don’t achieve the big goals right away doesn’t mean you’re not making progress.

Reward yourself

When you succeed in achieving a goal, be it a big one or a small one, make sure to pat yourself on the back.

Think positively

Positive thinking is a major factor in success. So instead of mulling over things that didn’t go quite right, remind yourself of things that did.

Writing to Heal Pain

Thu, 07 Nov 2019 13:52:47 GMT

There are so many good reasons to communicate with site visitors. Tell them about sales and new products or update them with tips and information.

Here are some reasons to make blogging part of your regular routine.

Blogging is an easy way to engage with site visitors

Writing a blog post is easy once you get the hang of it. Posts don’t need to be long or complicated. Just write about what you know, and do your best to write well.

Show customers your personality

When you write a blog post, you can really let your personality shine through. This can be a great tool for showing your distinct personality.

Blogging is a terrific form of communication

Blogs are a great communication tool. They tend to be longer than social media posts, which gives you plenty of space for sharing insights, handy tips and more.

It’s a great way to support and boost SEO

Search engines like sites that regularly post fresh content, and a blog is a great way of doing this. With relevant metadata for every post so search engines can find your content.

Drive traffic to your site

Every time you add a new post, people who have subscribed to it will have a reason to come back to your site. If the post is a good read, they’ll share it with others, bringing even more traffic!

Blogging is free

Maintaining a blog on your site is absolutely free. You can hire bloggers if you like or assign regularly blogging tasks to everyone in your company.

A natural way to build your brand

A blog is a wonderful way to build your brand’s distinct voice. Write about issues that are related to your industry and your customers.

Reconnecting After Stress

Thu, 07 Nov 2019 13:52:47 GMT

Write about something you know. If you don’t know much about a specific topic that will interest your readers, invite an expert to write about it.

Speak to your audience

You know your audience better than anyone else, so keep them in mind as you write your blog posts. Write about things they care about. If you have a company Facebook page, look here to find topics to write about

Take a few moments to plan your post

Once you have a great idea for a post, write the first draft. Some people like to start with the title and then work on the paragraphs. Other people like to start with subtitles and go from there. Choose the method that works for you.

Don’t forget to add images

Be sure to include a few high-quality images in your blog. Images break up the text and make it more readable. They can also convey emotions or ideas that are hard to put into words.

Edit carefully before posting

Once you’re happy with the text, put it aside for a day or two, and then re-read it. You’ll probably find a few things you want to add, and a couple more that you want to remove. Have a friend or colleague look it over to make sure there are no mistakes. When your post is error-free, set it up in your blog and publish.

4 Subtle Signs of Trauma: When You’re Dealing with More Than You Think

Thu, 03 Jan 2019 03:01:00 GMT

When you think about someone experiencing trauma, incidents such as a violent or sexual assault or a terrible car accident might come to mind. But there are other, subtler forms of trauma that can negatively affect our lives and hinder our relationships.

Emotional trauma is often overlooked and minimized, and we may think we’ve “gotten over” some emotional pain that we’ve simply buried, and not dealt with. A break up, being passed over for a promotion at work or even a simple but negative childhood experience can cause emotional trauma. Read on to see if you recognize any of these four subtle signs of trauma in yourself.

Overwhelm

Anxiety and stress may develop in the aftermath of trauma, causing you to feel overwhelmed in numerous ways. You might feel out of control, like there is too much to do, or that people in your life are taking up too much of your time and attention. If you often feel as though your life has become unmanageable, this could be a sign that you have some unresolved emotional trauma.

Overreacting

Emotional overreactions are a common symptom of trauma. A victim of trauma might redirect their overwhelming emotions towards others, such as family and friends. Because these undealt with emotions are always bubbling under the surface, any incident that brings feelings forward can unleash these pent-up emotions. If you can recall times when you’ve overreacted, and perhaps have even been surprised at your own reactions, this may be a sign of trauma.

Shame

It’s not uncommon for people suffering from emotional trauma to have feelings of shame and self-blame. If you have feelings of shame because of a traumatic event, you may devalue yourself or see yourself as weak. You might feel a stigma from what you endured, and this may prevent you from admitting that you may be traumatized, or prevent you from seeking help.

Daydreaming

Another subtle sign of trauma is “zoning” or “spacing out.” You might feel disconnected from others or have difficulty staying present in social situations. Emotional trauma can cause you to slow down internally, numbing your emotions or causing you to feel exhausted. Because of the trauma you experienced, you may be averse to the expression of painful emotions, so you turn those emotions off. As you withdraw, your relationships with others suffer, causing you further psychological pain.

If these signs seem familiar and you believe you may be suffering from trauma, help is available. A caring, licensed professional trained in trauma treatment can help. Take the first step by giving me a call today, and let’s set up a time to talk.

The post 4 Subtle Signs of Trauma: When You’re Dealing with More Than You Think appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

5 Personal Techniques to Work Through Flashbacks

Thu, 03 Jan 2019 03:00:00 GMT

Flashbacks are our brain’s way of processing traumatic events that we’ve experienced. But what tends to happen is, our subconscious goes to our storage cabinet to access some important memories regarding the event, and everything sort of tumbles out of the cabinet all at once. This falling out or flashback experience can feel almost as traumatic as the initial event.

Flashbacks usually happen without warning. Most result from a “triggering” that occurs by an external experience. Triggers are typically sensory-based experiences that manifest via smells, sounds, tastes, textures that remind the person of the traumatic event. The smell of cologne can remind someone of their perpetrator. The sound of fireworks or a car backfiring can remind a soldier of gunfire.

Living with flashbacks is very difficult, but there are some ways you can work through these disturbing events:

1. Remember

Remind yourself that you are safe and having a flashback. Tell yourself as many times as necessary that these are only memories, the event is in the past, until you can feel yourself begin to calm.

2. Empower Yourself

Sometimes using your five senses can help you to be in the present moment. If one sense it causing the flashback – your sense of smell for example – use your other senses to place yourself in the actual current environment. The tactile experience of stamping your feet on the ground can remind yourself that you are free to get away from any situation that has become uncomfortable for you.

3. Breathe

As soon as we become fearful or panicked, our breathing becomes shallow and erratic. This only exacerbates the stress we feel in that moment because our body is literally panicking from a lack of oxygen. In these fearful moments, when we slow our breathing and take deeper and deeper breaths, we actually signal to our brain and body that everything is okay.

4. Honor the Experience

The initial trauma was awful, so it’s perfectly reasonable for you to want to move on “NOW!” However, you should understand that the body needs to go through this process and experience a full range of emotions. Honor the experience and yourself for having gotten through it.

5. Find Support

It’s important that you let loved ones know about your flashbacks so they can help you through the process. You may also want to seek the guidance of a professional mental health therapist who can offer coping strategies.

If you or a loved one is suffering from flashbacks and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch, I would be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

SOURCES

https://psychcentral.com/lib/coping-with-flashbacks/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/after-trauma/2013/11/why-do-flashbacks-happen/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/healing-trauma-s-wounds/201506/understanding-and-working-flashbacks-part-one

The post 5 Personal Techniques to Work Through Flashbacks appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

When to Worry: Recognizing Signs of Trauma in Your Loved Ones

Thu, 03 Jan 2019 03:00:00 GMT

Over the past several years, there have been numerous traumatic events all across the country. From incidents of mass violence to devastating natural disasters, hundreds of thousands of Americans have experienced or witnessed a disastrous or life-threatening event. In addition to tragedies such as these, anyone who has experienced a shocking or dangerous incident (such as a car accident or a robbery) is at risk of developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

PTSD is a serious mental disorder that requires medical treatment. PTSD can have devastating effects on every aspect of a person’s life, from their marriage and family, to their friendships and career. If you’re concerned that a loved one may be suffering from PTSD, here are some signs to look out for.

Reliving the Trauma

Someone with PTSD will have repeated, involuntary re-experiences of the event. They may experience bad dreams or flashbacks. They’re also vulnerable to certain triggers that remind them of what happened, such as sounds or smells.

Angry Outbursts

Someone silently suffering from trauma may be prone to anger, agitation, or sadness. Feeling irritable, the sufferer may be prone to outbursts of anger that they can’t control. If you’ve noticed your loved one frequently losing control and lashing out in anger, this is a sign that they’re suffering emotionally and require treatment.

Withdrawal

People suffering from PTSD will avoid people and situations that are reminders of the situation. As the victim continues to isolate themselves, how their friends and family react to their withdrawal will likely further isolate them, causing additional emotional distress.

Substance Abuse

It’s not uncommon for people with PTSD to self-medicate. Seeking an escape from high levels of stress and difficult emotions, they may turn to drugs or alcohol. The painful trademark of substance abuse is the growing need for more of the drug to produce the same high. If left untreated, as substance abuse grows, the abuse will turn to addiction and eventually dependence. This can have devastating effects on every facet of a person’s life.

If you’re concerned that a loved one is experiencing symptoms of trauma, the most important think you can do is encourage them to seek professional diagnosis and treatment as soon as possible. You can help by contacting offices and vetting therapists on their behalf, and volunteer to take them to an appointment. Assure them of your love and support throughout the process.

For additional guidance and recommendations from a licensed professional, call my office today.

The post When to Worry: Recognizing Signs of Trauma in Your Loved Ones appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

5 Empowering Mantra for Women Dealing with Workplace Disenfranchisement

Thu, 03 Jan 2019 03:00:00 GMT

As spiritual exercises like meditation and yoga rise in popularity, the concept of mantras has become more familiar. A mantra is a phrase you use in meditation to help you focus and create an intent that will be a positive driving force in your life. As you repeat the mantra during meditation, either out loud or in quiet thought, you’re planting a seed in your mind that will grow as you continue to nurture it through consistent meditation practices. Mantras can be very powerful tools used to help you gain confidence and calm anxieties in all areas of your life.

For many women, the workplace continues to be a stressful, complicated arena. Women continue to face discrimination and gender bias, struggling to get ahead while maintaining a pay gap of 24 cents on the dollar compared to men. Pregnancy discrimination, sexual harassment, and many other issues plague the working woman on a daily basis. While you may be unable to change your workplace, you can change how you perceive and react to challenging circumstances.

This is where you can use mantras to ignite your personal power, and give yourself confidence and peace of mind at work. You can use the mantras in this article, tailor them to suit you personally, or create ones of your own. Use the mantras during meditation in the morning before work.

First, find a quiet place to sit with your arms resting at your side, your palms face up on your lap; make sure you don’t lie down. Give yourself 10 to 15 minutes to meditate. If you’re very busy or pressed for time, even five minutes is sufficient. If you’re unfamiliar with how to meditate, there are apps you can download for your smartphone or tablet to help guide you through different meditations; just search for “meditation” in the App Store. You can also search YouTube for “meditations” and try the guided meditations available there for free.

Here are examples of mantras you can use to help you feel empowered in the workplace:

• I am strong, I am intelligent, I am capable.
• I am worthy.
• Taking care of myself is my top priority.
• I am capable of achieving anything I set my mind to.
• I am focused on doing my best.

It’s important to recognize that our internal dialogue must always be under control. Negative thoughts about others, our situation, or ourselves can make a bad situation much worse. By using mantras to enforce positive thoughts, you can maintain a positive attitude at work in the face of adversity, and keep negative self-talk at bay.

Are you struggling in the workplace, and in need of support and guidance to help you advance in your career? We can help. Call our office today to set up an appointment with one of our specially trained staff.

The post 5 Empowering Mantra for Women Dealing with Workplace Disenfranchisement appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

5 Signs You Aren’t Practicing Self-Care

Sat, 01 Dec 2018 18:01:00 GMT

Self-care is complex. Anyone can tell you to do it, but only you can bestow the gift of self-care onto your self . But before you can begin bestowing, you’ve got to first recognize that you are worthy of caring for yourself as you do others.

How do you do this? By noticing the ways in which you are currently not taking very good care of yourself.

Here are 5 signs you aren’t practicing self-care. If any seem familiar, it is time to make more time for yourself:

1. You Get Sick More Often

When we don’t take proper care of ourselves, our health takes a big hit. Lack of proper sleep and nutrition can lead to a taxed immune system, which in turn makes you vulnerable to infections, colds, flu, and other immune-related medical problems.

2. Increased Moodiness

What happens when a child does not get the care and attention they deserve? They begin to act out in order to get any attention. In much the same way, a lack of self-care and feeling of unimportance can lead to increased irritability. Leaving this unchecked can result in personal and professional relationships being negatively affected.

3. Unpleasant Physical Symptoms

What can start out as unpleasant (and even scary) physical symptoms, can be a sign of poor self-care. Symptoms may include dizziness, shortness of breath, chest pains, heart palpitations, abdominal pain, headaches, and fainting spells. All of these symptoms should be checked out by your healthcare provider immediately.

4. A Feeling of Isolation

When you feel you don’t deserve to care for yourself, you naturally feel unworthy of enjoying other aspects of life, like socializing and a true connection to friends and family. This can lead to a detachment of others and a sense of isolation.

5. Depression

Feelings of worthlessness can snowball into feelings of hopelessness and depression. If you have noticed yourself slipping farther and farther into a depression, it is important that you seek help from a mental health professional. They can help you recognize where the darkness has come from, and how to break through back into the light.

If you or a loved one is experiencing depression, or would simply like some help practicing self-care, please be in touch with me. I would be more than happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

The post 5 Signs You Aren’t Practicing Self-Care appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

3 Busted Myths About Recovering Addicts

Sat, 01 Dec 2018 18:01:00 GMT

Addiction is complex. And because of this complexity, there tend to be a lot of opinions, and yes, even myths surrounding it.

In my practice, I have spoken to many addicts and loved ones of addicts, and I have found the same questions come up over and over again. Unfortunately, I am also aware that these myths and questions stand in the way of many people seeking treatment.

I would like to put some of these common myths about addiction recovery to bed once and for all.

Myth #1: I Can’t Afford Treatment

It is an absolute shame that so many people believe they can’t afford to seek help for their addictions. True, recovery can be expensive, but there are always low-cost options.

Cost of treatment typically depends on the program, and each program will have varying payment options. If you have insurance, you can always call facilities in your area to see if they accept your plan.

If you don’t have insurance, or your particular plan is not accepted, you have several recovery options:

Stabilization programs – These are low cost programs that run from between two to six weeks in an inpatient recovery facility following detox.
Self-help 12-Step programs – These are free programs that follow a 12-step holistic approach to recovery, focusing on surrender and making amends with loved ones.
Health Insurance Marketplace – State government low-cost insurance plans where coverage varies by state.

If you have any questions about recovery costs, you may contact Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) to learn more.

Myth #2: I’ll Be Fired If I Go to Rehab

This is one of the most common myths. The reality is, if you have a substance abuse problem, it has more than likely become apparent to your boss and coworkers. By not getting treatment you may very well lose your job.

In my experience, management is generally supportive of an individual’s efforts to get better. Many employers even offer employee assistance programs (EAPs) for those struggling with substance abuse. Check with your boss or HR to see if this program may be available to you.

Another options is to check into the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA). This act provides 12 workweeks of job-protected, unpaid leave in a 12-month period for “a serious health condition that makes the employee unable to perform the essential functions of his or her job.” Qualifications for this coverage are determined by employers who will take into consideration how long you’ve worked for the company.

And finally, if you do not have access to EAPs or FMLA or discretion is very important to you, you may want to consider using vacation time for your recovery process.

Myth #3: Recovery Will be Quick

Let’s get one thing straight – there is no quick fix to substance abuse. Recovery is a process that continues even after you complete a program. Getting clean takes commitment from both you and your loved ones. In many cases, this will be the hardest thing you ever do, but doing it will be rewarding for your life and health, and the life and health of your family.

It’s important that you have some sort of aftercare in place before you leave your treatment facility. Aftercare can mean group therapy, individual therapy, a 12-step program, a sober house, or therapeutic community. Individuals who engage in aftercare programs have significantly better outcomes.

If you or a loved one is considering a treatment program and would like to explore therapy options for your aftercare, please get in touch. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help you and your family recover.

The post 3 Busted Myths About Recovering Addicts appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

The Difference Between ADD & ADHD

Sat, 01 Dec 2018 18:01:00 GMT

When searching for information on mental health issues, you’ll find attention deficit disorder (ADD) and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) lumped together. In fact, you’ll often read ADD/ADHD. So it’s easy to see why people get confused.

Before we talk about the differences, it’s worth it to take a brief historical look at attention deficit disorder to get an idea of how the term came about.

The diagnostic system of psychiatric disorders is relatively young, having been adopted back in 1980. Before that, the term that doctors used to describe hyperactive and inattentive children was “Hyperkinetic Disorder of Childhood.”

Then a new publication of the psychiatric diagnostic reference, called the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 3rd Edition (DSM III), came out in 1980 and the terms “attention deficit hyperactivity disorder” (ADHD) and “attention deficit disorder without hyperactivity” (just plain ADD) were formalized.

So What are the Real Differences Between ADHD and ADD?

The real difference between ADD and ADHD is who is diagnosing the person and which terminology (older or newer) they prefer to use. For example, the term “Attention Deficit Disorder” is shorter and easier to say and write. It is often used by people, as well as medical professionals, as a shorthand version of the full-blown Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.

To be clear, and technically speaking, there is no longer an official “attention deficit disorder (ADD)” diagnosis — it is all known as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), with a specifier made for the actual type of ADHD the patient suffers: inattentive type, hyperactive-impulsive type, or a combination type.

That being said, ADD is often used as a shorthand to describe the inattentive type of ADHD.

I know, it can definitely be confusing!

Treatments

Treatments for ADD and the other types of ADHD (hyperactive-impulsive and combination) are similar and typically include some kind of therapy and/or medication as interventions.

Common therapies include:

Behavioral therapy: Often using rewards system, the goal of behavioral therapy is to change negative behaviors into positive ones. This therapy is often used in conjunction with medication.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This is a type of talk therapy that encourages individuals to think about their feelings and behavior. CBT helps kids and adults build self-esteem, which often takes a hit with the diagnosis of ADHD.

Social skills groups: This is a therapy primarily used to treat kids and adolescence with ADHD. Kids with ADHD often have symptoms that make it hard to socialize. A social skills group can help kids learn and practice important skills for interacting with others.

If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with ADHD or ADD and is interested in exploring treatment options, please get in touch. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

The post The Difference Between ADD & ADHD appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

Why Setting a Strong Female Role Model is Important for Your Daughter

Sat, 01 Dec 2018 18:00:00 GMT

Every Halloween, little girls all over the country choose costumes that reflect what they want to be when they grow up. And each year we see many girls choosing to dress as princesses and fairies, kitty cats and maybe the odd super hero. Rarely do we see young girls dressing as executives, scientists, or world leaders.

It can seem benign enough, but it does beg the question: are young girls still under the impression their choices in life are limited? And what can parents, particularly mothers, do to set a good example?

The Importance of Role Models

If you are a runner, you probably know that for most of human history no one was able to run the 4-minute mile. In 1940, someone actually got to 4:01, and for nine years that is where the record stayed, with not one runner in the entire world being able to break it.

It seemed to everyone that the human body, no matter how fit and trained, would never be able to break that record. But then on May 6, 1954, Roger Bannister broke the 4-minute barrier, running the distance in 3:59.4.

And then a very interesting thing happened: barely a year after this feat, someone else ran a mile under 4 minutes, and then more runners did it, and then even more. Now it’s common practice for runners to run the mile in under 4 minutes.

Role models show others what is possible, and that’s powerful. Humans tend to not attempt things unless we believe it can be accomplished.

Our children learn from watching us. They learn how to think, act, and feel about themselves and the world around them. Here are some ways mothers can set a strong female role model for their daughters:

Body Image

It’s important for mothers to encourage their daughters to be healthy and strong, but not to obsess over beauty. It’s not enough to talk the talk, moms have got to take care of their bodies and health and accept themselves as they are.

Boundaries

Unless they are shown otherwise, young girls may grow up assuming they must constantly please others and never say no. Moms, it’s important to show your daughters that setting boundaries is healthy and necessary.

Confidence

Confidence comes from a mindset that failure and mistakes are merely chances to learn. It also comes from knowing strengths and abilities as well as limitations. In other words, confidence is a byproduct of knowing and accepting our true selves.

Are you having a hard time being the role model you’d like to be? Maybe you’re a stressed-out single parent who could use some coping strategies. If you’d like to speak with someone, please be in touch. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/our-gender-ourselves/201205/female-role-models-the-absent-conversation

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/thinking-about-kids/201205/i-could-do-why-role-models-matter

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beauty-sick/201705/gift-mothers-daughters

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/201402/9-ways-be-the-best-role-model-you-can-be

https://www.nomeatathlete.com/4-minute-mile-certainty/

The post Why Setting a Strong Female Role Model is Important for Your Daughter appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

4 Fun Activities for You & Your ADHD Child

Sat, 01 Dec 2018 18:00:00 GMT

If you have a child who has been diagnosed with ADHD, you know one of the main symptoms is hyperactivity. In other words, your child may seem to have an excess of energy, and all of that energy needs to be channeled.

Unfortunately, modern kids are far less physically active than kids from just 20 years ago. It used to be natural for kids to be outside running around and riding bikes, but many of today’s kids spend their time sedentary, watching television, and playing video games.

Clinical psychologists and psychotherapists are taking note of this change and expressing concern. Roberto Olivardia, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist and clinical instructor in the department of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School has said, “Being outside provides ADHD children with a more open environment to appropriately express their energy.”

And psychotherapist Terry Matlen, ACSW, agrees, “Children who are hyperactive and impulsive can release tension far easier being outside running, jumping, swinging, and playing sports than sitting indoors.”

If you want to reduce ADD/ADHD symptoms in your child, help them get their body moving. As a bonus, all of this physical movement will help your child improve their balance, coordination, and other gross motor skills.

Here are some fun activities you can enjoy with them.

Riding Bikes

Not only is bike riding a terrific aerobic exercise that is gentle on growing bones and joints (as well as aging bones and joints!), it’s a great way to explore your neighborhood or local community. When we drive by places in our cars, we tend to overlook many of the details and things that make our local communities special. But when we ride our bikes, we can take in much more.

Family Sports

If you’re lucky enough to have family members nearby, consider having a weekly family team sporting event. This could be family soccer games, touch football games, softball games, or whatever you come up with. Make the prizes fun, like losers cook winners’ dinner or losers mow winners’ lawn.

Yard Work

Speaking of mowing the lawn, having your kids help out with yard work can be a great way to spend time together while getting important tasks accomplished. Painting fences, raking leaves, and hauling things in the wheelbarrow are great ways for your kid to release energy. Plus, when you’ve completed a project together, your child will feel a sense of pride and accomplishment.

Treasure Hunt

Whether it’s in your backyard, at the local park, or in a forest at the end of town, a treasure hunt is a creative way to get your kid exploring in the great outdoors, moving their body, and having an awesome time. Your treasure hunt could have an educational theme, like finding and solving math problems to get the next clue or learning about American Presidents with each treasure found.

Kids with ADD/ADHD are constantly being told to calm down and sit still. So getting them outdoors where they can move their bodies and explore will not only calm their hyperactivity and impulsiveness, but will also make them feel better about themselves.

If you or a loved one has a child that has been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

The post 4 Fun Activities for You & Your ADHD Child appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

“Who Wears the Pants?” Advice for Balancing the Power in Your Relationship

Sat, 01 Dec 2018 18:00:00 GMT

When it comes to relationships, it seems there is often a driving force behind the couple, or one partner who seems to always have the upper hand. This is often referred to as “wearing the pants.” The partner who “wears the pants” is the one most often in control of the relationship.

“Wearing the Pants”

But what does it mean to have control in a relationship? For one partner to have more control over the other often means that one partner in the relationship is more committed to and interested in it than the other. If one partner is less interested than the other, then the partner with more interest is frequently the one giving up their power in the relationship. This partner may do a lot of chasing and begging while the other wields the upper hand, giving little.

Self-Respect

To avoid this scenario, each person in the relationship must value themselves. Each person should see themselves as “a catch” – a person with value, who deserves an equal and loving partnership.

Maintaining a balance of power in a relationship requires self-respect. If one person in the relationship doesn’t value themselves and they’re willing to do anything to keep the other person in a relationship, they are also setting the relationship up to fail. The person in control will lose respect and attraction, while the person giving up control will build resentment towards their partner.

Balancing Power

To create or maintain balance in your relationship, you must learn to stand your ground. Make your demands known, figure out what your deal breakers are, and be prepared to walk away if necessary.

As you make your needs known, be sure to do so in a calm manner and don’t create an argument. If there are important things that your partner needs to change, set a time limit. For example, if they frequently put you down or name-call, give them a period of time in which they have to make significant improvement. Know in advance what you’re willing to accept, and what behavior is unacceptable. It’s possible that your partner won’t change, and if so you need to be prepared to walk away while your self-esteem is still intact.

Are you having difficulties in your relationship, and require the help and guidance of a licensed professional? Call my office today and let’s set up an appointment to talk.

The post “Who Wears the Pants?” Advice for Balancing the Power in Your Relationship appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

Get Some Sleep! 5 Tips for Busting Through Your Insomnia

Mon, 01 Oct 2018 10:01:00 GMT

If you find yourself struggling to fall or stay asleep, you’re not alone. Insomnia, the chronic inability to get sufficient sleep, is a common problem affecting millions of Americans. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2014 study, more than a third of Americans aren’t getting enough sleep on a daily basis.

With a lack of sleep at the root of serious medical conditions like obesity, high blood pressure and heart disease, getting a decent amount of sleep on a regular basis is crucial to a long and healthy life. Here are five things you can do to change your routine and start getting to, and staying, asleep.

1. Just Two Things in Bed
Make sure that your bed is used only for two things: sex and sleep. By using your bed almost exclusively for sleep, your body will associate your bed with rest and relaxation, making it easier to fall asleep.

2. Exercise Regularly
Getting regular exercise (the recommended thirty minutes a day, five days a week) will help you promote healthy sleep habits. Your post-exercise temperature may promote falling asleep, and exercise in general will help eliminate insomnia by decreasing arousal and anxiety.

3. Naps, Caffeine, & Alcohol
Short naps are helpful for some, but for others it impacts their ability to fall asleep. If you’re struggling with insomnia, avoid naps during the day. Caffeine, a known stimulant, may keep you up longer than you’re aware. You may need to avoid caffeine entirely if it prevents you from falling asleep. And, while alcohol is a sedative, it can disrupt your sleep; so if you have trouble staying asleep, avoid alcohol.

4. No Screens Before Bedtime
Screen time, such as computers, smart phones and television, prevent you from falling asleep due to cognitive stimulation. Too much light at bedtime affects your melatonin production, giving your body the impression that its staying awake, not ready for sleep. Help your body get ready for sleep by eliminating screen time at least two hours before bed.

5. Create a Nighttime Routine
Creating a regular nighttime routine will help your body get into the habit of winding down and relaxing as it prepares for sleep. Create a nighttime routine an hour or two before bed. Maybe have a glass of warm milk, brush your teeth, change into your pajamas and read a book every night before bed. Make sure you go to bed around the same time every night too, including weekends.

Changing old habits and establishing a new routine is never easy. But as you make changes and sustain new practices, it will get easier. Before long you’ll have a new set of healthy habits, and you can finally settle in for a good night’s sleep.

Are you struggling with insomnia and need help maintaining healthy sleep habits? A licensed professional can help. Call my office today and let’s schedule an appointment to talk.

The post Get Some Sleep! 5 Tips for Busting Through Your Insomnia appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

5 Ways to Recharge Your Energy After a Rough Day

Mon, 01 Oct 2018 10:01:00 GMT

Few things zap your energy the way a stressful day can. Stress is known to reduce our levels of serotonin and dopamine, neurotransmitters that play an important role in our mood, energy and motivation. After a difficult day, you might be tempted to lounge on the couch watching TV until it’s time to go to bed. Although it might feel good in the moment, it won’t give you the mood and energy lift you need after a rough day. Here are five simple ways you can recharge yourself.

1. Unplug

After a stress-filled day, you need to unwind—and that means turning off your phone for some much-needed “me” time. It can be tempting to sit on the couch with your phone all night, checking emails, responding to texts, or getting lost on Facebook or Instagram.

Unplug. Turn your phone off and put it in a drawer in a room in your house that’s out of the way, or leave it in your car. Don’t touch it again until after you’ve had a good night’s rest.

2. Go Outside

If the sun is still out after your rough day, put on your comfy shoes and go for a quick walk. Exposure to the sunlight will help your brain release serotonin, which will boost your mood and help you feel calm and focused. Exercise is also one of the best ways you can improve your mood, helping you relieve stress and sleep better at night. Even if the sun is down, a walk outside will still help, as the exercise and fresh air will help you feel invigorated.

3. Refresh Yourself

After a tough day, take the time to refresh yourself by taking a 45-minute nap. A quick 5 or 10-minute meditation session can also help lift you up. Use your phone to find a guided meditation on YouTube, or play some relaxing music while you meditate quietly for a few minutes. You can also pamper yourself with a bubble bath, or if you need something more uplifting, take a quick shower. Before you get out of the shower, splash some ice cold water in your face; the chill will refresh you and wake you up.

4. Eat Healthy

A healthy dinner or snack is just the thing you need after a rough day. Avoid comfort foods that will leave you feeling sluggish. Instead, fuel your body with protein, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. These foods will slowly release energy into your bloodstream, and you’ll likely get a mental boost as well from the feel-good result of eating healthy.

5. Make Plans

Looking forward to something is a great way to boost your mood long-term. Plan a vacation, a weekend getaway, or just a day trip. Even planning a special meal, or a visit to a new bar or restaurant will help; give yourself something to look forward to.

Are you struggling to maintain your energy levels? Is stress causing you to feel tired, anxious or depressed? A licensed therapist can help you find ways to manage stressful situations. Call my office today and let’s schedule a time to talk.

The post 5 Ways to Recharge Your Energy After a Rough Day appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

Are the “5 Stages of Grief” Real?

Mon, 01 Oct 2018 10:01:00 GMT

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance: these are the very well-known five stages of grief, as postulated by Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying . At the time of the book’s publication, very little instruction was given in medical school on the subject of death and dying, which was what motivated Kübler-Ross to share her findings in her work with terminally ill patients.

Since the book’s publication, the five stages of grief have become so well-known it’s now engrained in pop culture. Despite its popularity, some people may be surprised to find out that Kübler-Ross didn’t create the stages to indicate a linear progression of grief, but rather to describe the process of the patients she observed. Before her death in 2004, Kübler-Ross noted in her book On Grief and Grieving that the five stages were not meant to be a linear and predictable progression of grief, and that she regretted that the stages had been misinterpreted.

Coinciding with Kübler-Ross’ own remarks on the five stages, there appears to be no evidence that people go through any or all of these stages, or in any particular order. As unique as is each individual and their relationships, so too is their experience with the grieving process.

Since mourning the loss of a loved one can be such a devastating experience, many who grieve yearn for a checklist, a time to look forward to when the sadness and grief will end. Unfortunately, there seems to be no definitive “end” to the grieving process; much like our own personal growth, we’re never really “done” or complete with grieving.

As we deal with life as it continues, hand in hand with the experience of mourning a loved one, we find a “new normal” – a new way to be in the world without that person in our lives.

Although grief has no particular stages, timeline or ending, it doesn’t mean that we will grieve in the same way forever. The people that we love and lose are forever engrained in our hearts and minds. Over time, the indescribable sorrow of grief morphs into a sort of bittersweet gratitude: still sad that we lost our loved one, but happy and grateful for the gift of sharing our life and time with them.

If you are struggling with grief and need support and guidance, a licensed therapist can help. Please call my office today, and let’s set up a time to talk.

The post Are the “5 Stages of Grief” Real? appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

It’s Okay to Take a Break! Tips for New Moms on Asking for Help

Mon, 01 Oct 2018 10:01:00 GMT

As a new mother, you’ve probably noticed that taking care of yourself and a new baby at the same time is next to impossible. How are you supposed to make sure you are getting what you need to thrive when you are on call 24/7, responsible for keeping a new human being alive and happy?

It’s no wonder that so many new moms feel emotional and completely overwhelmed. You know you need a break, but then you feel guilty about even needing one.

Relax.

It’s very okay to ask for help. And here are some ways you can do it:

Be Realistic

Yes, you’re a mother now, but you are still an individual that has her own needs. Recognize that being a great mother has nothing to do with being a superhero. Never feel you have to go it alone. Be realistic and understand that everyone needs help now and then.

Be Honest

Stop trying to be the greatest mother who has ever lived and do everything by yourself. When a family member or friend asks how you’re doing, be honest with them. Let your loved ones know you are feeling exhausted and stressed and could use some help.

Have someone watch your baby for an hour so you can get out of the house. Or have them watch the baby so you can simply clean the house.

You may also want to keep a list of household tasks posted somewhere, such as laundry, washing dishes, cleaning bathrooms, and have your loved one pick something from the list to take off your plate.

Be Flexible

When asking others for help, make it known that you appreciate others are busy and you would be happy to get their help whenever works for them. If this means the recycling doesn’t get packed up and taken to the center until Wednesday afternoon, that’s fine. If you’re the one asking for help, you’ll have to be a bit flexible with WHEN you receive it.

Be Safe

If you are suffering from postpartum symptoms it is incredibly important that you ask for help. Lingering feelings of sadness, depression, anxiety, fatigue, and hopelessness need to be addressed.

If you or a loved is suffering from postpartum depression and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

The post It’s Okay to Take a Break! Tips for New Moms on Asking for Help appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

Balance Your Mood With Food: How Good Nutrition Supports Mental Health

Mon, 01 Oct 2018 10:01:00 GMT

Our brains are magnificent machines: while the brain controls rudimentary yet complex functions like your heartbeat, breathing and motor functions, it also controls a multitude of other complicated tasks such as creating your thoughts and feelings. A machine this advanced, that runs 24/7, clearly requires fuel to run. The fuel you supply to your hard-working brain is none other than the food and drink you consume.

Like any other machine, the quality of your brain function is relative to the quality of the fuel you put in it. Foods rich in nourishment such as complex carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals and antioxidants help stabilize blood sugar levels while increasing your brain’s energy. When it comes to feeding the brain, you get back what you put in.

Selenium

Selenium is an important mineral that your body relies on to perform many of its basic functions. Studies have shown that people with a low amount of selenium in their diet have an elevated rate of depression, irritability, and anxiety. While too little selenium causes health problems, too much can be toxic. According to the National Institute of Health, 55 mcg of selenium a day is the sweet spot for adults 19 years of age and older.

Brazil nuts are by far the most selenium-rich food available. An ounce (about 7 or 8) of brazil nuts contains 544 mcg of selenium per serving, so two or three brazil nuts a day is more than sufficient to get your RDA of selenium. You can also get your 55 mcg a day with 3 to 4 ounces of halibut, roasted ham, or shrimp. Cottage cheese, roast chicken, oatmeal, and eggs also contain moderate amounts of selenium, around 10 to 20 mcg per serving.

Folate (Folic Acid)

Studies have shown that an increased intake of folate or folic acid is associated with a lower risk of depression. Folate is found in a wide variety of food, with spinach, liver, yeast, asparagus, and brussels sprouts containing the highest levels. You can also get your recommended 400 mcg of folate with avocado, peanuts, orange juice, leafy green vegetables like spinach and kale, and whole grains, among many other foods.

Omega-3

Dopamine and serotonin are chemicals in the brain that are produced by nerve cells. Serotonin is a natural mood stabilizer, and dopamine controls your feelings of pleasure and reward. Omega-3 fatty acids have anti-inflammatory properties in them, and they effect the transmission of dopamine and serotonin. Omega-3 also has a role in brain development and function, with the ability to stabilize moods. Omega 3 foods include salmon, walnuts, soybeans, and chia seeds.

There are many other nutritious foods that will serve as prime fuel for your brain, helping you perform, feel and be at your very best. Using this list to help change your eating habits for the better is a great step in the right direction.

If you’re struggling with a mood disorder and would like some support and guidance to live a more balanced life, contact my office today so we can set up a time to talk.

The post Balance Your Mood With Food: How Good Nutrition Supports Mental Health appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

5 Tricks to Managing Your Everyday ADHD

Mon, 01 Oct 2018 10:00:00 GMT

If you’re an adult struggling to cope with ADHD, everyday life can present you with various challenges. You may have difficulty managing work and personal relationships, meeting demands at work and at home, as well as taking care of your own health and well-being. If you’re in need of some tips to help you manage daily life with your ADHD, below are five strategies you can start using today.

1. Watch the Clock
Becoming more mindful of the time will help immensely in managing your day-to-day symptoms. When you start tasks or chores, make note of the time; write it down or say it aloud if needed. You can also stay aware of the time by always wearing a wristwatch. Take note of areas in your home where you may spend a lot of time without realizing it, such as your garage, bathroom, or living room. Instead of relying on small appliance clocks that are easy to ignore (such as on the microwave or the cable box), buy a large wall clock and place it in a highly visible location.

2. Use Timers and Reminders
Use your smart phone to set timers when you start tasks. You can also use your smart phone to set reminders to yourself.

3. Make a Priority List
Keep a list handy for tasks and chores, and be sure to list them by priority: the most important things get done first. For lower priority tasks, schedule to do them after your higher priority tasks are complete. Set a reminder to review your priority list each morning, before you check voicemail or email. When you receive tasks from others, schedule them right away according to your priority list, rather than theirs.

4. Remove or Manage Time Sinks
If you find yourself checking email, news/gossip sites, blogs, or social media too frequently, uninstall or move app shortcuts around to make them harder to access. For websites or computer games/applications, delete shortcuts or bury the shortcut in a folder so it’s more difficult to get to.

5. Give Yourself Extra Time
When figuring how long it will take to complete a task, add 10 minutes on to the time to allow yourself extra time to get things done. Plan to arrive at work and other functions 10 to 15 minutes earlier to avoid being late.

Although there’s no cure for ADHD, there are many things you can do to manage it. By developing healthy habits, you’ll find that handling daily challenges will become second nature.

For additional help, you can find many resources (such as articles, apps, podcasts, and webinars) to help you manage your ADHD at www.ADDitudemag.com , and at add.org/resources .

If you’re having trouble managing your ADHD and would like some guidance from a licensed, trained professional, call my office today so we can set up an appointment to talk.

The post 5 Tricks to Managing Your Everyday ADHD appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

Do I Have PTSD? Recognizing the Signs

Thu, 07 Jun 2018 01:00:00 GMT

As shocking instances of mass shootings continue to occur all over the United States, we often hear people talk about Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. Frequently associated with post-war veterans and victims of mass violence, PTSD is a psychiatric disorder that can develop in people who’ve experienced or witnessed a traumatic or life-threatening event.

However, there are many other instances of trauma that can cause someone to develop PTSD besides combat or witnessing a terrorist attack. Anyone of any age that has experienced a violent or sexual assault, a natural disaster, a car accident or any other shocking or dangerous event is at risk of developing PTSD. If you’re concerned you or a loved one may be suffering from PTSD, here are some signs to look out for.

Reliving the Event

Someone with PTSD will have involuntary re-experiences of the trauma through nightmares, flashbacks, triggers, and unwanted thoughts or memories. Sounds or smells may take them back to the traumatic experience, or they may develop physical ailments when they’re reminded of or remember the event.

Symptoms of Arousal and Reactivity

PTSD sufferers will frequently feel on edge, unsafe or be easily startled. They may be prone to anger, agitation, or sadness. It’s also common for victims of PTSD to have trouble sleeping or concentrating, and they may develop changes in their eating habits by either eating too much or too little.

Avoidance Behavior

An individual suffering from PTSD may begin to avoid the area where they experienced the event, or areas that remind them of what happened. They may also avoid people, events or objects that bring negative memories forward. It’s also common for people with PTSD to avoid talking about the situation, or avoiding feelings related to the event.

Negative Thoughts and Feelings

Feelings of shame, self-blame, and exaggerated negative beliefs are common in people with PTSD. They may lose interest in things they once enjoyed, and isolate themselves from friends and loved ones. It’s also not uncommon for people with PTSD to entirely lose trust in people, or to believe that the world is a dangerous place.

After experiencing a traumatic event, it’s natural for someone to have any of the symptoms listed above. However, for people suffering from PTSD, the symptoms persist for weeks, months, or even longer and begin to affect their ability to function.

If you’re worried you might be suffering from Posttraumatic Stress Disorder and need the help of a licensed professional, please call my office today and let’s set up an appointment to talk.

The post Do I Have PTSD? Recognizing the Signs appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

4 Ways to Practice Mindful Eating Every Day

Thu, 07 Jun 2018 01:00:00 GMT

Is this a scenario you can relate to?:

You sit down in front of the television or computer with a bag of chips or pint of ice cream intending to eat only one serving, but before you even know what’s happened the entire bag or pint is gone. And you have no real recollection of tasting or even enjoying it. You seem to have eaten the whole thing on autopilot.

This is how many of us eat every meal of every day, without any awareness of the food or how much we eat of it. This is mind less eating, and it is the cause for so much overeating and weight gain in this country.

What is Mindful Eating and How Do I Do It?

Mindful eating is exactly what it sounds like – it is a practice of becoming more aware of what and how much you eat. It is not a fad diet, which are short-sighted approaches to eating, and there are no specific recipes to follow.

Instead, mindful eating is a long-term approach to eating. It’s about forming a relationship with your food, not being controlled by food. When you eat mindfully, you taste and savor each and every bite.

If this sounds like something you’d like to try, here are 4 ways you can begin practicing mindful eating every day:

1. In Sight – In Mind

You know the old saying, “Out of sight, out of mind?” Well the opposite is also true – the food we see we tend to want to eat. If you have boxes of cookies and donuts on your kitchen counter, you are going to grab one (or more) when you pass by because your blood sugar is low, and you need energy. You’ll have an entire donut eaten before you even realize you ate it.

Your mindfulness must start in the grocery store. Stop buying unhealthy foods laden with salt and sugar, and opt for healthier foods and snacks like fresh produce and nuts. Strategically place these healthy options around your home and kitchen so you can’t help but see them first the next time you reach for something to eat.

2. Stop Multitasking

How often do you just eat and only eat? Stop eating in front of the television, and stop eating at your computer. And if you absolutely must work through your lunch break, try alternating between tasks so you can focus on one entirely at a time.

For instance, focus on writing and sending that email, then switch tasks and spend a full minute or two on eating your lunch, savoring each bite. Then switch to another task, and back to eating and so on.

3. Slow Down

Unless you’ve entered a pie-eating contest, there’s no rush. Too many of us wolf down our food, then wonder why we feel so sick. Pace yourself. In your mind as you chew, repeatedly tell yourself to slow down. Eventually slow, purposeful eating will become an ingrained habit, but in the beginning you need to train yourself.

4. Gauge Your Hunger

How hungry are you when you begin to eat? Are you even hungry at all, or are you eating as an emotional response to something?

Before you dive into that large pizza with the works, gauge your real hunger level. On a scale of 1-10, if your hunger is a 3, one slice should suffice. If you’re not hungry but in a bad mood because the boss is making you stay late, don’t eat the pizza. Instead, lift your mood with a non-food treat like a funny Youtube video you know you like or by mentally planning out all the enjoyable things you’re going to do after you get out of work.

Simple. Not easy , per se, but it will become easier with practice.

Try to incorporate these tips into your everyday life. You will be surprised how mindful eating can change your entire life, from the size clothes you wear, to your health, to how in control you feel in other areas of your life.

If your mindful journey helps you to uncover certain food or emotional issues you’d like to explore further, please contact me. I have worked with many people who have food addictions or use food as an emotional response and I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help you.

The post 4 Ways to Practice Mindful Eating Every Day appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

The ADD / ADHD Cookbook: Help Balance Your Brain With Food

Thu, 07 Jun 2018 01:00:00 GMT

If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, you may be wondering if what you eat has any impact on how you feel or your disorder. The answer to that question is a resounding, “Yes!”

Modern science is now proving that diet contributes to many of the major diseases we encounter in life such as heart disease and type II diabetes. One of the findings is how food affects inflammation in the body, inflammation being the root cause of all disease.

Inflammation can also affect the brain, and many health experts are now making a connection between diet and diseases like Alzheimer’s, depression, and ADD/ADHD.

Yes, that’s right – your diet does affect your/your loved one’s ADD or ADHD. Which means the extra boost to your treatment that you’ve been looking for has been hiding in your fridge all this time.

With this in mind, let’s talk about what you should… and should NOT be eating if you have ADD/ADHD:

AVOID

Sugar

The more we find out about this white substance, the more it starts to feel like none of us should be eating it. Excessive sugar intake can tamper with the reward pathways in the brain that are involved in drug addiction. Many believe it can also tamper with the hyperactivity trigger. Sugar also causes erratic blood sugar levels, which cause dramatic mood swings in some people.

Besides the obvious culprits like candy, cookies, and soda, it’s also important to avoid most packaged foods, which often have high amounts of hidden sugars. This includes condiments, soups, and cereal.

Colorants and Other Additives

Colorants and other additives are meant to make our food look more appealing or last longer on store shelves, but many people believe that these substances also contribute to inflammation in the body.

As with sugar, a good rule of thumb is to avoid prepackaged foods as much as possible. Artificial drinks are a big culprit. Always read labels and when you see the word “flavor” or “flavored” anywhere on the package, the safest bet is to set the package back down and walk away.

Common Food Allergens

Many children and adults have allergies or sensitivities to foods that contain gluten, wheat, corn, and soy. These have been associated with inattentiveness and hyperactivity. Consider getting officially tested for these sensitivities and allergies with your doctor to see if there are any other foods that should be personally avoided.

EAT MORE

Protein

Are you eating enough protein? Most people simply don’t get enough into their diet. Protein is not only responsible for building muscle, but also building and repairing every tissue, organ, and even hormones.

Research has also shown that ADD/ADHD symptoms are caused by an imbalance in the catecholaminergic systems in the brain areas that control memory, motor functioning and emotional regulation. The two most abundant catecholamines in the brain are the neurotransmitters dopamine and norepinephrine . Both of these are derived from the amino acid tyrosine and amino acids are derived from proteins, so make sure to get enough into your diet from sources such as lean meats, eggs, and nuts.

Omega-3 Fats

Omega-3 fats are important to anyone for a variety of reasons. They reduce inflammation and also help to transmit brain signals. Health experts have also linked ADHD to an omega-3 fatty acid deficiency. You can increase your omega-3 consumption by eating cold-water fish such as salmon and tuna.

If you have a kiddo that doesn’t like the taste of fish, consider a quality omega-3 supplement. It’s true that the less expensive supplements can occasionally have a harmless fishy smell, but through trial and error or asking a pharmacist you’ll quickly find that there are many options available that are no more offensive smelling than household aspirin.

B Vitamins

Remember those neurotransmitters I just mentioned in the section about protein? B vitamins actually help to synthesize those neurotransmitters. You can eat all the protein in the world but if you are deficient in B vitamins, you won’t get the full benefits. While foods like fish, meat, and eggs are excellent sources of B vitamins, most health experts agree supplementation is the easiest and most effective way to get enough into your body.

After adjusting your diet, if you feel you need some extra help getting your ADD/ADHD symptoms under control, please reach out to me. I would be happy to discuss treatment options with you.

The post The ADD / ADHD Cookbook: Help Balance Your Brain With Food appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

3 Reasons Why Play Therapy Is So Effective

Wed, 02 May 2018 19:00:00 GMT

Through play, children discover the world around them and their feelings about it. Play is also how children communicate these often-complex feelings. This is what makes play therapy such a powerful treatment. Pretending offers children the opportunity to “finally” be in charge and express what if feels like to be them.

Here are some more reasons why play therapy is so effective:

Play Reveals the Child’s Emotional Life

Though the characters of the real world and play world may be different, the storylines tend to be the same. A young girl may walk into a therapist’s office, spot the plethora of toys, grab a stuffed horse and kitten and make the horse hit the kitten repeatedly, all the while the kitten begs the horse to stop. While some adults might watch and perceive this young girl to be aggressive, a trained therapist recognizes this child is revealing a world of pain; the pain of living in a home where one parent routinely abuses the other.

Feelings can overwhelm children. Add to this their lack of a developed vocabulary to express these feelings and you have a young person with pent up emotions and nowhere to put them. Play therapy helps children reveal their inner emotional world.

Play Therapy Explores Other Options

Children are instinctual and impulsive. They haven’t yet developed the ability to stop, reason, and determine best courses of action.

Play therapy allows young people to explore different options, behaviors, and ways of feeling and thinking about things. Through play, a child may learn, for example, that aggression isn’t the only reaction, or even the best reaction, to a particular situation they are facing in home or at school. Understanding this is an area the child needs to work on, the therapist can assume a role or character and guide the dialogue and action of play toward a beneficial resolve and lesson.

Play Therapy Helps Children Feel They Will Be Okay

Children are often sent to therapy because they have been acting out at home or at school. By helping them work through their complex emotions, as well as making them feel heard and respected, play therapy helps children feel safe and okay, which results in the development of acceptable social behavior.

If you feel play therapy might be right for your child and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch. I would be happy to discuss how I might be able to help your child work through their emotions.

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Healing from Childhood Emotional Neglect

Wed, 02 May 2018 19:00:00 GMT

Many of us were raised with the notion that kids are meant “to be seen and not heard,” meaning ‘don’t speak until you are spoken to.” While this idea may have only meant to keep the volume down at the Thanksgiving table, it can have negative ramifications on a child’s psyche.

Worse still, there are many children who suffer from Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN). These children were raised to believe that not only do their ideas not matter, but neither do their feelings or needs.

Though the words may never have been said, the actions, or lack of, announced loud and clear: You don’t matter .

These children grow up to become adults who still believe they don’t matter, and that they shouldn’t burden others with their needs or feelings. But this cycle of worthlessness can be broken.

Here are 3 ways you can heal from childhood emotional neglect:

You most likely grew up believing your own needs and emotions were the enemy. You may have even been made to feel ashamed because of them.

In order to heal you must embrace your needs and emotions and invite them to play an active role in your life. You can do this by listening to yourself and honoring the way you feel. When understood and managed, emotions can propel us and help facilitate positive change.

Growing up, you might have felt like adults were the enemy. After all, it was the adults in your life that made you feel worthless. As an adult, you may have a natural instinct to keep people at a safe distance, to “protect” yourself. But, in order to heal, you have to stop pushing people away and, instead, invite them into your life. When we form relationships with genuine, caring and honest people, we feel good about ourselves while adding value to our lives.

Survivors of CEN all have one thing in common: they don’t really know themselves. That’s because the people in their lives who should know them the best, their family, never really took the time to get to know them.

But now is the time for you to fully recognize the truth, you are absolutely worth knowing and it is your responsibility to get to know yourself. Knowing who you are, what you like, want, need, love, value, desire in this life will give you a firm foundation from which to propel yourself into an awesome future.

Recovering from any kind of emotional trauma is not easy. It is a personal journey that will contain many highs and lows. But taking the journey, one step at a time, will lead you to a wonderful life, one that you deserve.

If you or a loved one is suffering from CEN and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I would be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

The post Healing from Childhood Emotional Neglect appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

Feeling Angry and Frustrated With Your Partner? These Tips May Help

Wed, 02 May 2018 19:00:00 GMT

A lot of couples who come for therapy usually cite frustration with their partner as one of the major issues they face. This frustration usually stems from unmet expectations.

Expectations play a huge role in relationship satisfaction. Couples who are frustrated say things like ‘You weren’t very supportive of me when I quit my job to freelance’ or ‘You didn’t plan any special activity for our anniversary’. Constant frustration can lead to resentment and create an unhappy relationship.

Here are some practical tips to help you reduce frustration towards your partner.

1. Communicate – You need to inform your partner of your expectations ahead of time because they can’t read your mind. If you want them to text you more often, or take you on more dates, tell them why it is important to you.

2. Manage your expectations – Beyond the basic things that are necessary for a happy relationship, decide what’s really important to you and let go of some frivolous things. Remember that your happiness is directly related to your level of expectations. No expectations, no disappointment.

3. Appreciate – Be grateful for everything that your partner does for you. Appreciate your similarities and differences, and your gratitude will help you unlock a whole new level of love, passion and satisfaction in your relationship.

4. Don’t keep score – Keeping a mental scorecard of what your partner does or doesn’t do based on your expectations will only cause hurt and frustration. Kill your mental scorecard and remember that if they aren’t aware of your expectations, they can’t possibly live up to them.

5. Accept your partner – Acceptance is key. Love your partner for who they are, not who you imagine them to be. Accepting your partner’s differences and peculiarities, makes them feel safe and respected. Judgement, however, causes them to feel blamed and become defensive.

6. Understand your partner – Understanding your partner’s personality and motivations could help you be less frustrated when they don’t meet expectations. For example, if they hate sports they’re probably not going to take the initiative to buy you tickets to see your favorite team play unless you’ve told them how important it is to you. Rather than keeping score, aim to understand your partner’s way of seeing the world.

7. Learn to calm yourself – Controlling your emotions and response when your expectations aren’t met can be the difference between a happy relationship and an unhappy one that’s bound to end. This means you need to take out time to settle and soothe yourself before talking to your partner about it.

Decide what expectations are important to you, and communicate them to your partner properly. If you are able to accept and appreciate your differences, then you still have a shot at having a loving and fulfilling relationship.

I can help you resolve frustration and anger in your marriage or relationship. If you would like marriage counseling or relationship counseling, please contact me.

The post Feeling Angry and Frustrated With Your Partner? These Tips May Help appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

5 Ways to Reignite the Spark in Your Relationship

Wed, 02 May 2018 19:00:00 GMT

‘The spark’ is a phrase that’s used a lot when it comes to romantic relationships. In fact, you might have felt ‘the spark’ in the beginning of your relationship, and as a result, the early days were very exciting for you and your partner. However, like every other flame, ‘the spark’ needs to be kept alive by both partners. When you think of intimacy, you probably imagine physical attraction, and sexual relations, however, intimacy is so much more than that. It encompasses both the physical and the emotional.

At the beginning of your relationship, you just can’t seem to get enough of your partner. You want to see them all the time, and they are constantly on your mind. Naturally, romance blossoms and intimacy is high and effortless.

However, as time goes on, life sort of gets in the way. Routine and the stress of everyday living makes it almost impossible to sustain high levels of intimacy without effort. It takes practice, time and effort to keep intimacy levels high in any relationship.

Here are 5 ways to strengthen the intimacy in your relationship, and keep your flame burning hot.

1. Do exciting things together- As your relationship develops, you are bound to form a routine. However, routines become boring. Shake things up by making an effort to do really exciting things together, such as climbing a mountain, going on a vacation, taking a special class together or going bungee jumping! It will provide a much-needed breath of fresh air in your relationship and help you discover new things about each other.

2. Have deep meaningful conversations – Talk about your relationship, your current lives, plans for the future and your emotional state. Try as much as possible to be vulnerable with your partner and let them see the real you. Lack of communication and bottling up negative emotions can lead to resentment. Explore the things that make your relationship work, and strengthen your commitment to each other. Having a therapist facilitate these conversations can make them really fruitful and rewarding.

3. Be thoughtful – Intimacy isn’t always about the grand gestures. Something as simple as writing your partner a love letter or stocking up on their favorite snack can make them feel incredibly loved and appreciated.

4. Make couple time- It can be really hard to focus on one thing in today’s digital world, and sometimes we unconsciously pay more attention to our gadgets than to our lovers. At least once a week, turn off all electronic devices and participate in an activity you both enjoy. You could watch a movie, cook together or massage each other. This gives you time to enjoy each other and connect on a deeper level.

5. Express gratitude- Every night, before bed, express gratitude for one thing your partner did during the day, no matter how small or random.This will help them feel loved and appreciated.

If you would like to improve intimacy in your relationship and strengthen the bond between you and your partner, please book a relationship therapy session with me.

The post 5 Ways to Reignite the Spark in Your Relationship appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

6 Great Ways to Deepen Your Relationship Bond

Mon, 05 Mar 2018 03:00:00 GMT

Love is a beautiful thing, and there’s nothing more amazing than feeling the bond you share with your partner get stronger. If you’re in a happy relationship, you can keep it that way by introducing a few new things into your relationship. Here are 6 evidence-based approaches that will help you enjoy a more fulfilling connection.

If you would like to improve your relationship and strengthen the bond between you and your partner, even more, you can book a relationship counseling session with me.

The post 6 Great Ways to Deepen Your Relationship Bond appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

A Parent’s Guide to Teen Depression and Suicide

Mon, 05 Mar 2018 03:00:00 GMT

The statistics on teen suicide are staggering. According to the Centers for Disease Control, each year, an average of 8% of American teens will attempt suicide. This makes suicide the second leading cause of death for kids aged 10 to 24. In fact, it is believed that more teenagers die from suicide than from cancer, pneumonia, birth defects, AIDS, influenza and heart disease combined .

Studies have found that teens who have presented with a mood disorder or who abuse drugs are at the greatest risk of attempting suicide. While research suggests girls attempt suicide more often, boys more often die from it.

Unfortunately, there is still much stigma surrounding depression and suicide, and so often these kids keep their emotional pain to themselves.

What can parents of teenagers do to keep their children safe and healthy?

Speak with Your Kid

Many parents believe that trying to speak with their kids about their moods and feelings will only push them farther away. This is a dangerous misconception. In reality, teenagers need to know they are safe, loved and cared for.

You may want to begin your conversation by asking general questions about what’s going on in their life. When the time feels right, you can ask if they have ever had thoughts of self-harm. If their answer alarms you, ask specifically if they are planning on or intending to harm themselves.

Validate Their Feelings

Once you’ve begun this sensitive dialogue with your teen, it’s important to actively listen and validate their feelings. Your kid must really believe you are a) hearing what they’re telling you and b) recognizing the importance of it. Try and listen without judgement. This will help your child relax and open up, thereby giving you an opportunity to learn even more about their inner emotional life.

Clarify the Situation

If your teen confides they are having thoughts of suicide, it’s incredibly important that you remain calm and ask questions that will help you clarify the situation. You will want to determine if they are mentioning suicide because they:

Seek Professional Guidance

Any talk of suicide is a serious matter and requires professional guidance by a trained therapist. It’s important not to force your teen into any treatment plan, but instead, allow them to help direct the course of their plan. Some of their depression might stem from an overall lack of control they feel they have in their own life, so it’s important you let them have a voice in the direction of treatment. You may also find that you will want to speak with someone through this difficult time.

If you or a loved one is seeking treatment options for a troubled teen, please be in touch. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help your family.

The post A Parent’s Guide to Teen Depression and Suicide appeared first on Balanced Counseling of San Antonio .

How to Begin Healing After Personal Trauma

Sat, 03 Feb 2018 05:00:00 GMT

No one is ever prepared for a tragedy. In fact, most of us go through our lives believing that tragedies happen to other people.

When people do experience a distressing or life-threatening event, such as a car accident, natural disaster, or terrorist attack, they often develop extreme anxiety or PTSD. Many develop ongoing problems with their personal relationships and their own self-esteem.

Everyone deals with trauma in their own way. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to respond to a tragic or terrifying event. Don’t let anyone, not even yourself, tell you that you should respond in a certain way.

Having said that, there are steps you can take to begin to heal and regain control of your life.

Accept Your Feelings

Ignoring your feelings of fear, shock, rage, terror, confusion, or guilt will only slow your recovery. In the moment, you may feel you must avoid your emotions. But, whether you accept or push them away, your feelings are real, and feeling them is necessary for healing. The good news is, even intense feelings will pass if you simply allow yourself to feel them.

Reframe Your Identity

After experiencing a traumatic event, it is common to feel helpless and out of control. To fully recover from the event, it is important that you eventually reframe your identity and challenge your feelings of helplessness. You can do this by taking action. Being proactive – even in small ways – will help you overcome feelings of fear and helplessness.

Consider volunteering for a cause that’s important to you. If that is too much of a time commitment, you could simply focus on helping a friend or neighbor. This will help you feel more powerful and in control of your environment.

Reach Out to Others

It is common for people to want to withdraw from loved ones and social activities following a tragic event, but connecting with others is necessary for recovery. Though you may not feel up to taking part in huge gatherings like you once did, a simple face to face conversation with a close friend or relative can trigger hormones that relieve stress.

You needn’t talk about the event with your loved ones, just simply spending time with them will help you feel more “normal.” Of course, if you feel like you need to talk about your feelings, reach out to those you know love and support you. You may also want to look into support groups in your local area so you can be around others who know what you are going through.

And finally, you may want to consider seeking guidance from a professional therapist who is trained in helping people who have experienced a traumatic event. They can help you navigate your emotions as well as give you tools to get back on your feet.

If you have experienced a traumatic event and feel you could use some guidance on your journey back toward peace and joy, please get in touch with me. You don’t have to suffer with your burden alone.

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Top 5 Ways to Reduce Anxiety

Sat, 03 Feb 2018 05:00:00 GMT

It’s rare that any of us will get through life without experiencing anxiety at some point. But some people have the burden of dealing with anxiety on a daily basis. Whether it’s over something big or insignificant, anxiety stops us from living a normal life full of joy and potential.

Here are 5 ways you can begin reducing your anxiety:

1. Recognize You Are in Control

When you are in the grips of anxiety, it feels very much like it has total control over you. But the reality is, you are in control. While external events can trigger our emotions, ultimately, we have the choice whether we feel those emotions or not. So the good news is, you don’t have to suffer with anxiety, you simply have to decide to show it who’s really boss.

2. Diaphragmatic breathing

This physical strategy is very helpful to relax in stressful situations. While breathing, focus on breathing into the belly while keeping your shoulders down and relaxed. As opposed to expanding your chest, focus on letting your abdomen expand while inhaling.

3. Move Your Body

Exercise is a great way to alleviate the muscle tension that goes along with chronic anxiety. Plus, exercise releases feel good chemicals in your body like serotonin. But don’t sweat it, you don’t have to do a grueling workout at the gym to gain these benefits. Just a half hour a day of walking, biking, swimming or yoga can significantly help reduce your anxiety.

4. Start a Gratitude Journal

Get into the habit of writing down three to five things you are grateful for each night before retiring. This is a simple way to train your mind to focus on all of the good that surrounds you.

5. Speak with a Professional

The cure for any physical or psychological ailment is to get to the root cause of it, not simply manage the symptoms. A therapist can help you access your inner world to uncover what is triggering your fear and also offer coping tools and strategies.

If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

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6 Signs of Depression in Teens

Sat, 03 Feb 2018 05:00:00 GMT

Ask any parent what their main job is and they will tell you it’s protecting their children and keeping them safe. New parents spend hours, if not days, baby-proofing the house. They research the best car seats and bike helmets and figure out ways to ensure their kids are safe online.

But, no matter how hard parents work to keep their kids safe, it is very difficult to protect children against mental health issues such as depression. According to the National Comorbidity Survey-Adolescent Supplement (NCS-A), depression affects roughly 11% of adolescents by age 18.

If you are unsure as to whether your own child may be suffering from depression, here are 6 signs to look for:

Thanks to raging hormones, it is quite normal for teenagers to experience mood swings. But those suffering from depression will show wilder and more frequent swings into and out of anger, sadness and irritability.

A drop in grades and notes from teachers can be a big signal that something is going on. Is your teen getting to school late and/or cutting classes? Are they not showing up at all? Never ignore academic problems.

Is your child spending less time with their friends? Do they have new friendships that you question? Or are they spending more and more time isolated? Changes in social behavior are often the first signal kids are in trouble.

Did your teen use to love playing basketball or spend hours drawing? Have they suddenly lost interest in these activities? If your child no longer shows interest in favorite hobbies and activities, this is an indicator that something is wrong.

Granted, teenagers are not known for being highly-motivated individuals, but those suffering from depression will show a marked decline in motivation.

If you or someone else in your family suffer from depression, there is a very good chance your teen may also suffer from it.

If you have noticed one or more of these signs, it’s important to seek help from a mental health therapist. While you may want to, you can’t love depression away. It needs strategic attention and a plan for management.

A therapist will be able to assess your teen for depression and provide coping skills and tools for dealing with symptoms. If you or a loved one are concerned for a teen’s safety and would like to explore treatment options, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

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Sample Blog Post

Thu, 01 Sep 2016 17:41:00 GMT

This is a sample post to show how and where the blog posts appear.

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